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Author Archives: APRILL BRANDON

About APRILL BRANDON

Freelance writer and columnist (fancy words for pretty much unemployed) and newbie to Boston. In her spare time, when she's not busy being pretty much unemployed, she likes to drink wine and write stalker-ish fan mail to Dave Barry. http://aprillbrandon.com

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: WHEN NATURE ATTACKS: PART 2

Posted on May 17, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

I decided to go nuclear and bring in my secret weapon: Captain Canine! Continue reading →

Leave a comment | Email | Tags: aprill brandon, bumblebees, Funny, get rid of wasps, my dog ate a bee, nature, Spiderman, web columnists

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: WHEN NATURE ATTACKS

Posted on May 10, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

And just when I thought it was all over, that’s when, for the first time in recorded history, a wasp and a bumblebee put aside their differences (and century-long feud over whose stinger was bigger) to come together to defeat a common enemy … Me. Continue reading →

1 Comment | Email | Tags: aprill brandon, Boston, bumblebees, Funny, getting rid of wasps, movie montages, when nature attacks

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: HOW TO MAKE ENEMIES IN 140 CHARACTERS

Posted on April 26, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

This is why you don’t use a tragedy to promote your own petty political agenda. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: boston manhunt, boston marathon bombings, gun control bill, nate bell, NRA, Second Amendment, twitter, Watertown

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: SPRING CLEANING FOR LAZY DUMMIES

Posted on April 12, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

Spring is finally getting its sh-t together. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: aprill brandon, boston weather, cleaning out the fridge, disney movies, Funny, spring cleaning, weather forecast

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: THE (STAR)BUCK STOPS HERE

Posted on April 5, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

An object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest, especially if that object is a person sitting in a coffee shop and you want their seat. Thanks, science. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: alcohol, Boston, coffee, coffee shops, Dig, DigBoston, Funny, getting a seat at starbucks, Hipsters, Meme, science!, seats, Starbucks, Trolley Trollop, vodka, writing

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: LIAR LIAR

Posted on March 22, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

Yes, I’m a liar. A liar, liar, big girl pants on fire. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: failed new years resolution, Funny, giant wine glasses, liar liar, lose it, lose weight for spring, weight loss apps

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: THE POLITICS OF COOKING

Posted on March 15, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

Nobody…and I mean NOBODY…puts my baby back ribs in the corner. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: Barbecue, Cookout, Funny, Grilling, local, politics of cooking, Spring, sustainable food, vegan, women can't barbecue

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: WORDS THAT NEED TO DIE

Posted on March 1, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

If you say “cray-cray” one more time, I will cut you. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: abuse of the english language, banned words, cray cray, epic, Funny, man cave, misuse of literally, words that need to die

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: THE TAX MAN COMETH

Posted on February 22, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

Geez, usually I get dinner first before I’m screwed this hard, Uncle Sam. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: 2012, Funny, government waste, IRS, mad as hell, owe money to IRS, tax cartoons, taxes, uncle sam

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: CATCH MY (SNOW) DRIFT?

Posted on February 15, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

I now know why so many people die from heart attacks while shoveling snow. Quite frankly, it’s easier to die than to finish that godd*mn driveway. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: blizzard 2013, blizzard of 78, Boston, Funny, Nemo, shoveling snow, Snowstorm, winter weather

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: NATIONAL DE-HAIR YOUR ENTIRE BODY DAY

Posted on February 8, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

Oh, so what I am doing for Valentine’s Day, you ask? Oh, not much. Just painfully removing about 95 percent of the hair on my body so I can receive flowers and a hastily signed card in return. Continue reading →

Comments Off | Email | Tags: Boston, Funny, hair removal, hairy women, shaving, stubble, Valentine's Day, why i hate valentines day

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TROLLEY TROLLOP: HAVING DADDY ISSUES WITH FATHER WINTER

Posted on February 1, 2013 by APRILL BRANDON

You’re a deadbeat season, winter. And now I’m going to dye my hair purple and start dating some tattooed, Harley-riding caveman to get back at you. Continue reading →