Hey, someone from Medford did something super sexy – and no, it wasn’t a shift supervisor at Kelly’s Roast Beef.
It was Maria Menounos, duh. Continue reading
Author Archives: CHRIS CARPENTER
Laugh, Watch 
DRITA D’AVANZO: DA BADDEST WIFE
If Tony Soprano and Jessica Rabbit were to have backed it up and smacked it up in a Staten Island, NY motel room—some 35-odd years ago—their precious product would be Drita D’Avanzo, no doubt. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: Big Ang, Diddy, Drita D'Avanzo, flat tires, Lil' Kim, mob, Mob Wives, Staten Island, VH1
Laugh 
PAULA POUNDSTONE: DESPERATELY SEEKING CAFFEINE
I’m mentally ill, I think. I’m tellin’ ya, I have a callous on my hand from sifting litter boxes. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: Cats, Diet Pepsi, neckties, NPR, Paula Poundstone, The Wilbur, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
Laugh 
JIFFY WILD: CHELSEA HANDLER’S WILD THANG!
Chelsea Handler is often seen giggling and stuff with her besties Jennifer Aniston, Jenny McCarthy, and Reese Witherspoon – but little does the world know that her true best friend is up-and-coming comic, Jiffy Wild. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: After Lately, Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Lately, E!, Jiffy Wild, Life As I Blow It, Stand-up
Experience 
WHITE KIDS LUV STRIPPERS
Sam: When we had the show on IFC – they were like, “We’re IFC. We’re uncensored, so you can do anything.” And we were like, “You can do annnything?…” So as a response, we tried to everything with the sketches. And eventually they were like, “Well…maybe not anything.” Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: Cape Cod, IFC, Portlandia, sketch comedy, Strippers, Whitest Kids U' Know, WKUD
Laugh 
DAVID JAVERBAUM: GOD IS IN DA BLDG
He’s sick of being summoned during sneezes and ejaculations. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: Bible, Books, Church, David Javerbaum, ejaculations, God, Kardashians, Ryan Reynolds, The Daily Show
Laugh
DEFEND YOURSELF!: LAMONT PRICE
Chris chats with Lamont Price, who is co-producer and host of the “Comedy is King” show tomorrow at OBERON and will be in four other shows of Magner’s Comedy Fest this week. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: Cambridge, Comedy, Comedy Central, Harvard Sq., Issue 14.4, Lamont Price, Magner's Comedy Fest, Oberon, Stand-up
Laugh
HIT DA GYM: LOOK SUPER SEXY (?!)
Instead of working out, what are some other things noncommittal people could try?
Orlando: Stay at home more often. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: 2012, fail, Fitness, Hungry, Jo Koy, New Year's Resolutions, Orlando Baxter, Patty Barrett, Taco Bell
Watch 
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE: YOU GONNA EAT YOUR TOTS?
Last night, we watched Napoleon become super strong and stuff after applying an FDA-banned acne cream to this forehead. His newfound rage brought him to the Pioneer Punch Club (an underground fight club) where he eventually squared off with his brother, Kip, in a Thunderdome-esque cage match. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: cartoons, ChapStick, Fox, Jon Heder, Kip, LaFawnduh, Napoleon Dynamite, new Napoleon Dynamite animated series, Vote for Pedro
Laugh 
BEYONCE GIVES BIRTH … 2 A DIVA
Hey, did you hear the news? Beyoncé and Jay-Z reproduced over the weekend! They birthed a baby girl. Beyoncé did most of the work – because she has a vagina and stuff. They named their young lass Blue Ivy – not to be mistaken with the more popular baby name, Turquoise Shrubbery. Continue reading
Comments Off Email Tags: baby, Beyonce, Beyonce and Jay-Z, birth, Blue Ivy, Blue Ivy Carter, celebrity, Jay-Z
Laugh
2012: END OF THE WORLD + OTHER GREAT PREDICTIONS
A lot of silly-n-crazy things happened in 2011, remember? Continue reading
Laugh 
DEFEND YOURSELF!: CHRIS TUCKER
“I wish I could spend more time with him,” says Tucker about his bestie, Bill Clinton (?!). “I haven’t seen him in a minute.” Continue reading
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