There are certain things you, as a customer, are allowed to expect out of your retail worker. One of the things that’s not part of the job description, though? Cleaning up after you like some glorified housemaid. Continue reading
Author Archives: JILLY GAGNON
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I LIVE TO SERVE: COULD MAKE AN EXCEPTION, BUT WON’T
I understand that I’m not the only one who has had occasionally frustrating retail-based experiences. Believe it or not, I’m not only aware of, but sympathetic to, the fact that customers are sometimes the ones with legitimate gripes.
Not as legitimate as mine, of course, but legitimate nonetheless. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: HAVE A NICE DAY, I HATE YOU
There are many strange, inexplicable truths of retail. Like the theorem of transmissive desire, in which an object, previously ignored for months, is always purchased within 24 hours of the first individual expressing interest, or the principle of Screw-Jilly’s-Night, wherein the store, completely empty for the last 2 hours of a shift, suddenly fills up with at least a dozen people 5 minutes before closing. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: IF IT’S NOT BROKE
There are a lot of “classic” elements of retail that have gone the way of the 30-minutes-or-it’s-free pizza. Things like free on-site alterations, returns within any time window you feel like without a receipt, and dressing like a functional adult human when you go into the store … Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: SELLING STUFF YOU DON’T LIKE
I know the vast majority of these columns have been about the kinds of customers I just can’t stand, or the crazy people who, by virtue of my working in a place that actually invites the public in, seem to happen to me more than to an office worker, or various boundaries being crossed, with varying degrees of impunity. … Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: JUST A WORKER BEE
In case any of you were thinking of asking, let me just tell the world for once and all:
No, I don’t own the place. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: EVERY LAST CENT
Maybe it’s just an outgrowth of my almost uncanny ability to find lucky pennies (and my obsessive need, once I’ve seen one, to pick it up – long story that basically comes down to “superstition” and “blame my mother”), but I get profoundly fed up with the people who regularly ask for a penny dish. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: SAY IT WITH A BERET
So when the tall man walked in, clearly rushed, and bee-lined to the vintage hats, I figured he had a plan. After all, he homed in on that brown velvet beret, with a cork replacing the pom-pom, with a sense of purpose so tangible I had to assume it had been previously requested … Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: LANGUAGE BARRIERS, OR PUT A PIDGIN ON IT
Disclaimer: I’m not a Newt Gingrich supporter, or a “they need to learn OUR language, durnit!” sign-waving-rallier, or a generalized bigot. I do, however, find it very tedious when people come into the shop with basically no English and proceed to start relatively complicated conversations, almost always at a shout. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: VERBAL VOMIT
I know I’ve mentioned before that oversharing is one of the most frequent, and often most uncomfortable, parts of my job, so when the middle-aged woman started into a “conversation” from across the store, I wasn’t exactly surprised. Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: THANKS BUT NO THANKS
I’m aware this may come off as the worst of humble-brags, but does anyone have any suggestions on how to pleasantly, but firmly, refuse gift offers? Continue reading
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I LIVE TO SERVE: I DON’T LIVE HERE, I WORK HERE
I’m sure you’ve heard that old saying as many times as I have: if it were so much fun, they wouldn’t call it work. Continue reading
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