Or is his refusal to go down to cha-cha-cha-chia town a shining example of how completely selfish, self-centered and inconsiderate he is? Continue reading
Author Archives: KEN AND ARIEL
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: THE BOYFRIEND WHO WON’T GO DOWN
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ADDICTED TO ONE-NIGHT STANDS
Well, if I recall correctly, peer pressure led me to putting things in my mouth that didn’t belong there. (I’m talking cigs, of course.) Continue reading
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HIS FRIENDS KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE
But unfortunately, aside from threatening to cut his balls off with a rusty pair of scissors, there’s no real way to guarantee that he’ll keep his mouth shut. Continue reading
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Tags: "Wait I haven't told you about her sweaty ass yet.", arrested development, Bluth, boyfriend, dating, Fucking, girlfriend, GOB, Hulk, I've made a huge mistake, Ludacris, Marcel Marceau, mimes, relationship advice, Robot, rumors, screwing, Secrets, sex, Sex Advice, shut off, stop talking about my vag, Superman, Thor, Usher, Yeah?
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: DATING THE (MUCH) OLDER GUY
But I jest, because love knows no boundaries. Unless, like my late Uncle Phil, you decide to mate with an elk and die in a horrible antler-up-the-colon accident. Continue reading
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: MY GIRLFRIEND’S HOT FRIEND
She thinks that every time you have sex, you’ll be imagining the best friend, and not her, dangling from the trapeze you’ve conveniently installed above your bed. Continue reading
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Tags: best friend, girlfriend, hot friend, Ken and Ariel, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, threesome
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: THE TROUBLE WITH ROOMMATES
Although another option would be working the jealousy angle by getting pictures of you sitting on the chest and/or face of some other passed-out dude. And as I happen to spend most of my spare time passed out, I’d be happy to offer any assistance you might need. Continue reading
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Tags: booty, Boston Dating, boyfriend, clothes are for suckers, college roommates, dating, dating advice, drunk girls, Facebook, girlfriend, Girls Gone Wild, hey man watch where you pass out, Jenna Jameson, Naked, naked photos, naked roommate, nudist, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, Spongebob, Veronica Mars
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
Assuming this guy is of a similar age to you (and not one of those forty-something grad students who wants to chat you up about the new Vampire Weekend CD while fumbling with a chloroform-soaked rag), then he probably thinks about screwing 23 hours a day, with the remaining hour dedicated to daydreams about killer robots, football, and getting a blowjob in a spaceship. Continue reading
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Tags: Anne Hathaway, blowjob, booty call, Boston Dating, college sex, dating, drinkee-drink, genie, hooking up, Ken and Ariel, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, spaceship, three wishes, Vampire Weekend
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN
Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your a$$ in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. Continue reading
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Tags: atomic wedgie, ball gag, Batman, bondage, Boston Dating, boyfriend, bring out the gimp, Co-stan-za, dating advice, girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, Ken and Ariel, novice, Pulp Fiction, relationship advice, Seinfeld, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, Ted Bundy, whips and chains
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ARE WE SCREWING OR MAKING LOVE?
If I ask a woman to sit on my face while wearing pajama jeans for a half-hour while I stroke myself, you can rest assured that before night’s end, we’ll be f—ing. On the other hand, if I show up at her apartment wearing ass-less chaps and a top hat and monocle, we’ll be making love. Continue reading
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Tags: Abraham Lincoln, advice, anal, Boston Dating, dating, Dig, DigBoston, Edde Murphy, Fucking, hookers, Jimmy Snuka, Ken & Ariel, love, Making Love, making love or fucking, Nirvana, Orgasm, raw, relationship advice, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: NEVER RUB ANOTHER MAN’S RHUBARB
The first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club and the second, third, and fourth rules are that you never, ever put your hands, mouth or checkbook anywhere near a buddy’s girlfriend.
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Tags: Batman, Boston Dating, Callahan Tunnel, Chandler, Cheating, engagement, Friends, Jack Nicholson, Joey, Joker, Michael Buble, Never rub another man's rhubarb, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, Toy Story
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ADDICTED TO HER VIBRATOR
KEN and ARIEL are unemployed bloggers with degrees in English Lit. Naturally, they dispense sex and relationship advice. Continue reading
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