Arts 

TENACIOUS D: SILLY GEESE

Simulated balls, veins and all – the phoenix rose.

By now, like, 99% of all semi-conscious human beings know Jack Black from his wild-n-zany movies. Like, Kung Fu Panda – where he voices the voice of a panda who knows some intimidating martial arts moves. Or from Shallow Hal – you know, the flick where Gwyneth Paltrow wore a fat suit and pretended to look greasy and fat.

However, when he isn’t busy raking in them Tom Cruise dollas – Black rocks out super-hardcore alongside Kyle Gass as part of the almighty Tenacious D. Also known as “The D,” FELFO. (For extremely loyal fans only – duh.)

The deviant duo’s Rize of the Fenix Tour—equipped with a dancing evil alien squid—rolled into the Bank of America Pavilion on Monday night.

The eclectic crowd, which consisted of tons of New Hampshire residents, 40-year-old virgins, chicks with faded tramp stamps, dudes with McLovin t-shirts and plenty of way chill brahs in flip-flops – were ready to be musically humped sweetly throughout the night.

And The D certainly do not disappoint their throng of comic book-lovin’ jokesters and pawt smokers.

Black and Gass took to the stage wearing full-length white fur robes – accented with flashing lights, obv.

They immediately disrobed from their furry getups and cut right into the tour’s title track, “Rize of the Fenix.” PS – sorry ladies, no XXX shit here. Both dudes covered their potbellies with sweaty tees.

As The D tore up “Rize”—where they candidly crooned about critics comparing them to a stinky pile of cheese and about their deep concern for fans who may have to remove all Tenacious D tattoos—a giant phallic phoenix inflated behind them. Simulated balls, veins and all – the phoenix rose. And its ugly face stared into the crowd all like, “Hey there, I know what you’re thinking. Wink, wink. Let’s party hard.”

Based on the collective amount of visible hickies – the crowd def enjoyed the sight of that fat phallic phoenix.

The pair—who may totally be LMFAO’s aging uncles, btw—thrived off their earnestly comedic delivery. Think heavy LOL rock opera at its finest. Like, pretty much all night – and done right.

C’mon, it’s Jack Black, brah. He’s wild and fucking weird.

Black and Gass’ chemistry is what sold the show and filled the stadium with raunchy delight. Gass—while often appearing daft, clueless and perhaps slightly unaware of what home planet he was currently breathing on—rolled with every punch and embraced all of Black’s wild antics.

Black—with the presence of a manic child—continually served up a bevy of over-the-top theatrics that never seemed forced or staged. (Even though they probably were, duh.) Sometimes he chose to speak to the crowd; telling them that they looked healthy, extremely healthy. He also shared information about a new handshake that he and Gass created, that involved “just the tip.”

In the ode “Roadie,” The D paid tender homage to rock’s most under-appreciated employees, roadies—aka—”the people who check the mic, fuckin’ check the mic, fuckin’ checka-checka-checka 1, 2, 3.”

The two wild geese seamlessly transitioned from their newer “Rize of the Fenix” material to fan faves (you know the ones that make everyone go totally cuckoo and show some skin): “Tribute,” “Kyle Quit The Band,” “Kielbasa,” “The Metal” and – yes, of course, the gem “Fuck Her Gently.”

At the conclusion of “Tribute” aka “the greatest and best song in the world,” the phallic phoenix fell forward and sprayed white confetti into the crowd.

Everyone danced. Some people opened their mouths. Totes predicable.


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One Response to TENACIOUS D: SILLY GEESE

  1. I saw Jables at Fenway when I went to see Roger Waters perform The Wall. I was walking past him and did the whole double take thing. He kept his focus on walking past the goofily ogling me but I knew it was him. I looked it up online later and saw that the mighty D were playing in town. I will say that Mr. Black is taller than I thought he’d be.