Cocktail correspondent Christine Liu reports live (barely) from Tales.
Roughly--with the emphasis on rough--48 hours into the 9th annual spirit industry conference held in New Orleans, Tales of the Cocktail, I’m pickled tink with creative craft distillations, cocktailian bonhomie, and the sweaty, sweaty South.
This is my second year in attendance, so I have a better grip of what to expect at this booze-drenched convene-a-thon, in terms of blow-out budget events (shocker: corporate liquor companies have an unbelievable amount of marketing money to burn), the jawdropping level of cocktail celebrity in the midst (to name a few, Dale Degroff, David Wondrich, Paul Clarke, and literally every boldfaced bartender in the country), plus the surreal global expectation that a pisco breakfast at 8:30am after ginning it up until 5am the night before is, like, no big thing.
- “A dirty martini is a vile drink, suitable for both children and pets.” — Derek Brown in “What would Aristotle Drink?“
- “These Southern men are fiiiiiine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a married gal myself, but I can a-PRE-cia-ATE.” — Someone from Boston
- Ed “Ministry of Rum” Hamilton at the Flor de Caña tasting is adorable waxing passionate for the 15-year-old Centenario 21. Also, he’s very tall.
- Sorry, alt-coffee folks, but iced chicory coffee tastes like something was brewed through a goat’s teat.
- Angus Winchester sounds exactly like Rob Brydon in “This is How Michael Caine Speaks”
- Nerd alert: À la the helvetica John & Paul & Ringo & George t-shirt, spotted: “Spirits & Water & Bitters & Sugar”
- “Dita von Teese? She is not the new bar star.” — Overheard at the Saveur x Cointreau Bar Star Competition (Also: there’s a finalist from Worcester? Cool!)
- “I like to call this segment, ‘Last night at DJ shaved my ice.’” — Brother Cleve in “Cocktail Culture — Music” (who also, evidently, looks strikingly handsome in a sequined, tasseled luchador mask)
- I sat down next to man in a seminar who was nursing a can of PBR with the 6-pack plastic rings still attached: “Fallen soldiers,” he whispered.
- There will be a jazz funeral tonight for “Sex on the Beach.” Let the necrophiliac jokes fly.
- David Wondrich’s storytelling skills as a hiccuping drunk (as one of the characters) is uncanny, fantastic.
Here’s a Boston rollcall, as far as I could tell. Please let me know if anyone’s missing or something’s awry.
Follow them on twitter (just google them yourself, OK?) to get the head-pounding play-by-play of Tales.
Clio
Randy Wong
Deep Ellum
Evan Harrison, Max Toste
Drink
John Gertsen, Cali Gold, Misty Kalkofen, Bryn Tattan, Sam Treadway
Eastern Standard
Jackson Cannon, Nicole Lebedevitch, Naomi Levy, Kevin Martin
Franklin Cafe / Citizen Pub
Sean Frederic, Joy Richard
Green Street
George Jenich
Hungry Mother
Heather Mojer
Island Creek Oyster Bar
Tommy Schlesinger-Guidelli
No. 9 Park
Ted Kilpatrick
Russell House Tavern
Aaron Butler
Think Tank
Brother Cleve
Toro
Kirsten Amann
Trina’s Starlite Lounge
Emma Hollander, Trina Sturm
Anchor Distilling Company
Kevin Fethe
Berkshire Mountain Distillers
Brandy Rand
M.S. Walker
Andrew Deitz, Ben Sandrof
The Boston Shaker
Adam Lantheaume
Second Glass
Maureen Hautaniemi, Anthony Roldan
Dudekicker.com
Brayden Burroughs, Christine Eslao
cocktail virgin slut
Frederick Yarm
Mix yourself up a martini a Vesper would be appropriate) and stay tuned for a full recap in due time.















© 1999-2013 Dig Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved.