A wave of panic and paranoia swept through the state of Ohio this past Valentine’s Day, this time hitting an elementary school. The cause for such wasn’t a massacre of any sorts, but was none other than everyone’s favorite Disney character, Mickey Mouse.

As part of a Valentine celebration for the children and their parents, a mother of one of the children decided to veer off under the radar and surprise the kids with a Mickey Mouse costume she had brought.  A harmless, yet festive gesture.

When she showed up dressed as Mickey Mouse, the children were in their glory, going completely ape-shit over meeting the six-foot mouse.

After Mickey (Mom) made the rounds with the kids, she slipped out of the classroom, leaving the kids in an element of surprise … however, leaving parents and school officials in paralyzing fear of where the mouse went and what its motive really was.

In the interim of panic, the C.H. Campbell Elementary school put the school into lockdown like it was Columbine, after the six-foot rodent ran amok.

Dante Zambrini, District Superintendent, told one news source, The Youngstown Vindicator, that the school was put into lockdown and was quoted as saying, “It was a case of, Mickey Mouse was here, and then he was missing.”

“Attention all occupants of Campbell Elementary. There is a six-foot rodent named Mickey running amok on campus. Although most know him as a harmless character, we are not sure what he is doing here and what he wants exactly.”

Afterward, a 911 call was dispatched. When emergency officials arrived, the mother who dressed up as Mickey Mouse explained to the school what her motive was: to entertain the children by dressing up as their favorite Disney character.

When police finally arrived, they took the mother into questioning and confirmed that she meant no harm.

The police should have also pulled the school faculty into mental evaluation just to make sure that they know there is no such thing as Mickey Mouse or humanoid rats.

As if that isn’t bad enough, after the incident, the neurotic School faculty and parents sat around hi-fiving and commending each other on how great their lockdown plan worked and how it was conducted. Way to inject all those young innocent minds with unnecessary fear to put your adult anxieties to rest.

Considering the high security schools have these days, I am not surprised that grown ups react in fear to anything of a foreign nature that passes through the door. I guess the mother could have given them a heads up, but she wanted to surprise everyone and do something festive for the kids.

On average, out of the home, public places, and schools, statistically the safest place for your kid is the school, whether it has mice or morons lurking the halls.


2 Responses to OF MICE AND MORONS

  1. Tony Rome Tony Rome says:

    The world has gone pussy!