LULZ 

WHERE’S THE “PUSH FOR PISSED OFF” BUTTON?

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As a kid I thoroughly enjoyed when my mom would drive me over to my Aunt’s house, a couple of blocks down from ours. Was it because I so fondly appreciated the company of my dear Aunt and her two cats, Sweet Potato (orange cat) and Midnight (black cat)? Partly true. Was it because my aunt had a serious affinity for kooky and noise-making refrigerator magnets?

Wholly cow.

The retro TV magnet made that static noise when you pushed an antenna. The video camera screamed, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!” The seasoned and inactive candy magnets, which I’m sure at one time smelled like the actual candy they represented, smelled musty and fell to the tiled kitchen floor each time I opened the fridge to get a pudding cup.

The list goes on.

Looking back, I wonder what my childhood would have been like if my Aunt’s fridge had displayed magnets that weren’t awkward, putrid and noisy but instead helped me chow down on some quality cheesy pizza (instead of the frozen chicken fingers my mom, the non-chef, fed me most nights).

According to sites such as Forbes, Mashable and Digital Trends, Dubai-based pizza joint Red Tomato Pizza has taken drunken faux hunger and the consequential hangovers to the next level by creating the VIP Fridge Magnet, which allows gluttonous and sloth-like patrons to order a pizza in literally the click of a “Push for Hunger” button.

Really? Does containing two or more of the Cardinal Sins deem one a Very Important Person? Well, then call me Pres. Goldberg.

Afraid the pizza won’t contain the precise ingredients of your liking? (Feta cheese and mushrooms, pwease!) Well, first the customer personalizes his or her favorite combination of cheesy cuisine online, which becomes the default pizza until one sporadic and spontaneous day when that customer wants to really spice it up and changes the selection to a new fav.

When the button is pushed, Red Tomato sends a SMS confirmation to the patron’s cellphone. And just in case the customer decides she actually doesn’t want pizza for, say,

the ninth day in a row,

she can cancel the order within a short period of time after receiving the message.

Now if somewhere in Allston, instead of the Saleh bin Lahej Building in Al Barsha, Dubai, could create a magnet that would deliver cheap beers mixed with amaretto (trust me, try it) to my door with a click of a “I’m Pissed Off” button,

that’d be an idea worth cheers-ing to.


 

About LYSSA GOLDBERG

No A. Put the A in, and you die.
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