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BEAN COUNTER: VOLUME 14, ISSUE 33

Bean Counter Issue 14.33

More than 30 federal officers at Logan Airport claim a new “behavior detection” program engenders racial profiling. In response, TSA officials said that “the new system is not--AHHHHH! LOOK OUT! IT’S A BLACK GUY!MINUS 2

Harvard scientists have created a substance so slippery, bacteria cannot attach and grow on it. On top of medical applications, the material has been used in “tiny-ass” stagings of “that Bob Seger scene in Risky Business.” PLUS 1 BACTERIAL TOM CRUISE

The Jamaica Pond Association voted to oppose a 10-story apartment building planned for S. Huntington Ave. Officials say the decision stemmed from both the building’s high rents and its “relative dong-shapedness.” PLUS 4

Environmental services are stepping up the fight against rodent infestations after widespread reports of foot-long rats in the Fenway area. Recent efforts with comically large cheeses and cumbersome wooden mallets have, so far, proven unsuccessful. MINUS 1

‘Hamp Governor John Lynch took this past tax holiday weekend in Massachusetts as a chance to remind everyone that the Granite State is always sales-tax free.And seat-belt free, often road free, not many buildings over two-storie s…” continued Lynch. EVEN

THIS WEEK’S TOTAL: PLUS 2
LAST WEEK’S TOTAL: MINUS 5

About SEAN CLANCY

"Time's glory is to calm contending kings, To unmask falsehood, and bring truth to light." - Shakespeare, "The Rape of Lucrece" "I gyve unto my wief my second best bed with the furniture." - Shakespeare, "Last Will and Testament."
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One Response to BEAN COUNTER: VOLUME 14, ISSUE 33

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