What exactly is BH Ideas? I suppose we could check out the official website.
That wasn’t too helpful.
Luckily, the official BH Ideas Facebook page really says it all. The description reads, “BH Ideas is a fully interactive way of engaging with social media. Exchange ideas, manage ideas, make contacts.” The informational section then submits a barrage of questions to ponder on topics as diverse as eating at Applebee’s, how your “thought pathways affect [your] achievement-to-failure ratio,” and ways to build your “web presence” and “personal digital network.”
There is only one question under the FAQ section, and it’s about the meaning of “Namaste.” The FAQ fails to address the most frequently asked question of all:
What the fuck?
I’ll let you in on a secret: BH Ideas is, and does, nothing. It’s a loose collection of nonsense buzzwords designed to lampoon the ultimate meaninglessness of the language surrounding the internet start-up market. It’s run by Chief Visionary Officer Bill Hitchert. If you clicked that link only to find that you and he aren’t Facebook friends, don’t worry! He immediately accepts all requests within minutes of submission and posts the uniform message of welcoming to the BH Ideas team.
Now that you’re a part of the BH Ideas team, you can communicate directly with CVO Bill Hitchert, get ideas going viral, expand your PDN, or just connect digitally.
This is all make-believe language, and the real joy of BH Ideas comes from the bizarre dialogues between Bill and the legions of team members on BH Ideas.
Bill’s Twitter account is quite possibly his magnum opus, a Dadaist stream of #MEDIUMROAST coffee fetishism, Gangnam Style references far past their expiration date, and Tourette’s-style outbursts of digital age catchphrases.
If “all at the press of a button” wouldn’t work as a slogan for your biz, you’re doing something wrong.
— Bill Hitchert (@BHideas) May 16, 2013
Bill Hitchert’s most recent triumph is Tiny Buzz, the official BH Ideas mascot. Modeled loosely after the IKEA Monkey, Tiny Buzz spouts off daily robot noises along the lines of “bip boop zop buzz.” He’s pretty cute, for a meaningless symbol of a company that hardly exists!
But BH Ideas is, and has always been, about connection. The BH Ideas page posts heaps of ‘affirmations‘ on a daily basis, which are just hastily-photoshopped collages of weird images that people who are obsessed with BH Ideas doctor up. They’re dizzying combinations of BH Ideas in-jokes, surreal images, and fonts that should never be used outside of elementary school newsletters. Needless to say, the BH Ideas page is a procrastination maelstrom, an endless provider of both postmillennial affirmation and completely disposable, brilliant entertainment. TGIAF, am I right?