Comics LULZ 

FOLLOW UP: BATTLE OF THE COMIC SHOP STARS 2014

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Photos By Susanna Jackson

Last Saturday, Team Dig, a hodgepodge, ragtag group of lovable misfits culled from the offices of DigBoston, went to the 2nd Annual Battle of the Comic Shop Stars and against all odds, in defiance of the very multiverse itself,  Team Dig managed to defeat every comic book shop in the Boston area who competed and we went home with the coveted championship trophy!

That’s right, true believers. Team Dig, strapped only with a slingshot and a devil may text attitude, crip walked right up to that buster Goliath (officially out of outdated street terms now) threw down our measly slingshot and instead delivered a Little Mac style uppercut that dropped the giant and rocked the very notion of what was possible in a Boston area comic shop.

All of that is a lie.

I regret to inform that Team Dig did not emerge victorious from the wreckage of the 2nd Annual Battle of the Comic Shop Stars. Nor did we do better than last year where we merely did not win and came in 6th out of 11. No, this year Team Dig came in dead last. And in a way, that’s its own victory, right?

Wrong. But it’s a fun way to spin our crushing, alcohol-abated humiliation by Boston’s finest purveyors of funny books; a humiliation hosted again this year by our foxy friends at Davis Square’s Comicazi, the place where dreams go to die.

This year’s trivia challenge consisted of 8 teams with four players each, each team representing a different Boston comic shop. Each was asked a plethora of questions that pertained to every part of the geek universe. Comics, board games, video games, pulps, movies, TV, fantasy, manga. Everything.

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Here a list of the awesome stores who donated money and made teams to compete:

Larry’s Comics

Magic Dragon Comics

Web Head Enterprises

The New England Science Fiction Association

Pandemonium Books & Games

Boston Comic Con

Hub Comics

Comicopia

All helped to raise $800 to support Boston Partners in Education.

But what of Team Dig and the Greek tragedy that was our spiritual depantsing that night?

new dig

While the fate of Team Dig as sloppy know-nothing know-it-all drunks might as well have been telegraphed in the major upset and surprise of the evening was the crowning of a new Comic Shop champion. The title of “Supreme Intelligence” was handed down from heavily favored winners of last year Hub Comics to hungry upstarts Magic Dragon Comics. This was a major upset. Tears were shed like machine gun casings at Rambo’s New Year’s Eve party. But I have to come clean to you good people: I saw Magic Dragon Comics’ victory coming.

This is because I happened to stop by their shop the day before we did Battle and I spoke with Glenn the owner and leader of the Magic Dragon team. He seemed quite confident that his crew was going to win this year so I asked him if he had any strategies to ensure this inevitable triumph? He told me he was bringing a lot of beer with him. A lot.

magic

Seems that last year Glenn felt his team was basically the only ones really drinking at the BYOB event, and that these free flowing libations are what cost them the title. So his rather generous if not elegant solution was to buy enough booze for everybody else. Fiendishly ensuring that we were all equally toasted and that there was a nice, lubricated and even playing field for all. I have to respect this strategy even if it no doubt contributed to Team Dig getting our asses kicked in.

Because first off, he bought many of the 8 beers I drank that night, so right there, class move. Second off, instead of vowing to play this year sober like some sort of responsible adult Glenn did the most heroic thing imaginable and decided to continuing partying and he actually invited everyone else to party with him. It’s like when Keith Richards got Mick Taylor hooked on heroin so Taylor wouldn’t show him up on guitar anymore. On the surface it may seem like an irresponsible even dastardly act but it was for the greater good. And besides, it worked.

winner

Which cannot be said for Team Dig Mach 2. As Team Leader it behooves me to take responsibility for our stunning yet somehow unavoidable defeat. This is what a good leader does.

I am not a good leader.

I am a great leader and as a great leader I place all the blame squarely on the shoulders of those who failed to follow my example of nonstop perfection and unending excellence. I will now list their names just so the magnitude of their failure will echo forever along with my own (for trusting them) in the halls of internet.

To Kristofer Jenson, “I know it was you, Fredo.”

To Susanna Jackson, “Et tu, Brute?”

And finally to Benjamin Stroud,  “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

Yeah, I know, I just compared myself to Al Pachino. Anywhoo, The 2nd annual Battle of the Comic Shop Stars was a resounding success for all who participated (even us) and it proved yet again that the comic book community here in Boston is a beautiful and inclusive thing. That being said, next year will be the year of Team Dig. Even if it means I have to play stone sober.*

*Pretty sure this won’t change a thing, these people know their pop culture  and there is no besting them.

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About TONY MCMILLEN

Tony grew up in Tucson, Arizona but now lives in Boston. He is the author of the novel Nefarious Twit, which is available at Amazon.com. If you wanna party with him find him on Facebook. If you are David Lee Roth time displaced from 1984, don't worry, he'll find you.
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8 Responses to FOLLOW UP: BATTLE OF THE COMIC SHOP STARS 2014

  1. MARC SHEPARD MARC SHEPARD says:

    Can not believe Team Dig failed to activate their MVP for this competition.

  2. Tony McMillen Tony McMillen says:

    …Who is?

  3. Matt Lehman Matt Lehman says:

    As the owner of Conicopia, I am grateful for Team Dig’s participation, for without them, we would have come in last.

  4. Jan Dumas Jan Dumas says:

    Tony only a fool tries to out drink a guy from Cambridgeport. You are lucky Glen only brought beer.

  5. Tony McMillen Tony McMillen says:

    Matt, you are sincerely welcome. Jan, truth.

  6. Pat Pat says:

    Well done Magic Dragon

  7. MARC SHEPARD MARC SHEPARD says:

    Modesty prevents me from naming this Dig ringer, but he owns over 5,000 silver age comic books, watched an appalling amount of TV & movies in his youth and at age 10 successfully predicted Desslok’s betrayal of the Comet Empire in the second season of Starblazers.

  8. Tony McMillen Tony McMillen says:

    Well, next year we shall have our trophy then.