REEL TALK: MOVIES RATED BY OTHER BULLSH*T TODD AKIN PROBABLY BELIEVES

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO “THAT WHOLE THING” IS A SUBSTITUTE FOR “UTERUS”

Disney caught some flack some years ago when they brought Princess Mononoke to American theaters and ran it under the Disney banner, even though it was very clearly not for children, which says something about how animation is viewed in the US and Japan. But they deserve credit for sticking it out and releasing a newly re-dubbed version of the beloved My Neighbor Totoro, which did more for anime internationally than a thousand Akira’s. See it. Period. [G | Brattle Theatre, Sat 9.1.12 and Sun 9.2.12]

FOR A GOOD TIME CALL MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN UNDERSTAND WORDS

Seth Rogen’s career as an A-list leading man pretty much died with the Green Hornet. But rather than suffering Affleck-levels of career atrophy, he’s shifted gears in the Burt Lancaster mold, going from bankable leading man to snagging low-key sleepers like 50/50, Take This Waltz, and now For A Good Time Call, all of which have been either good or great. Judd Apatow himself may have peaked, but his alumni are taking over. [R | Coolidge Corner Theatre, Fri 8.31.12]

THE TALL MAN YOU ALSO CAN’T GET PREGNANT YOUR FIRST TIME

If you have to be told that a director is “acclaimed,” they’re probably not all that acclaimed. It just means they’re French. Such is the case with The Tall Man, the latest from “acclaimed” director Pascal Laugier who has made two other movies, one of which was torture porn. It stars Jessica Biel and it’s about a tall guy who kidnaps kids. There may be some horrible secret at the end. Boom. [R | Wide Release, Fri 8.31.12]

IN HARM’S WAY TWO PARTIES: PERPETRATOR AND FETUS.

This 1965 film, directed by Otto Preminger and starring John Wayne and Kirk Douglas, tells the story of fighting in the Pacific Theater. See, back before they had the History Channel, they had to make do with big, pointless, macho epics like this to keep the WWII buffs happy. If you liked the History Channel when it was all about killing Nazis, you may like this one. [NR | Harvard Film Archive, Sun 9.2.12, 7 pm]

JAWS EVERYONE IS MAD AT HIM FOR HIS WORDS AND NOT HIS MISOGYNY

Want to get the thrill of nature’s most terrifying killer without having to deal with Cape Cod traffic? Check out the still-scary-after-all-these-years classic Jaws. Why does it hold up? Because the most pants-shittingly freaky thing about sharks is that you don’t see them coming, and you barely see the shark until it’s a full-blown person killer at the end. Absolutely needs to be seen on the big screen. [PG | Wide Release, Mon 9.3.12]