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BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL: *10 DANCE NIGHTS IN BOSTON / CAMBRIDGE

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Photo by Nick Minieri (beantownboogiedown.com). Nick can, in fact, be two places at once. You will see him snapping photos at all of these.

“There’s no nightlife in Boston.”

The fact that you moved to Boston and are saying this is kind of like if you moved to Bristol or Berlin and said there’s no underground EDM scene. Then you open your back door and there’s a rave going on right on your back porch. Now scrape yourself off that Allston sidewalk outside TITS and follow us into the clubs of Boston and Cambridge, where there is a different dance night to choose from every night of the week. Our city holds a crop of some of the most talented DJs and producers and the EDM crowd here is both welcoming and devoted to teaching new fans what good dance music should be. Which is probably why some of them just started a DJ school (Mmmmmaven) and … oh yeah, we even have our own electronic music festival (Together). It’s only 11 anyway, kid, the night is young.

CVLT | Middlesex Lounge, Machine | Cambridge, Boston
1st Monday, 3rd Saturday

Who’s that dark shadowy figure beckoning you towards Middlesex Lounge on the first Monday of every month? Why, it’s the Grim Reaper himself! Electronic death music is literally what is going down at these dark lords’ den on the first Monday and the occasional night at Machine or one-off somewhere in the depths of Allston (or Jamaica Plain or Southie). Whether El Poser or DJ Punketta, ridonkulous vizzy-viz from Ctrl Alt Design, or the occasional excellent guests like Adam X, Deathface and Jokers of the Scene, it’s always a mind-numbing display of sight and sound, tri-projector status, soul-stealing bassbins and extra-stylish gothical majesty. Find a dog collar, pull up those black boots and get a tattoo every single time you go. Tell Bobby the Dig told you to.

And don’t you dare stop raving until you dance your fuck off.

[315 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. @A_CVLT. dustri.al/cvlt/]

Music Ecology | Wonder Bar, Machine | Allston, Boston | Tuesday, Saturday

Thanks to Music Ecology, formed three years ago by Polina Volchek with resident DJs Alex Russo, FDOT, Professorpious and Mad Mauritian, you can look forward to Tuesday nights as much as you looked forward to getting shwasted at Friday night dances in high school. Wonder Bar used to suck hard before this heterogeneous electronic music collective brought a tasty helping of tunes to satisfy every different sonic palette (recent guests include Om Unit and Shigeto, with Jimmy Edgar coming up on September 18th). For even more exotic up-and-coming producers, check out their Genesis night at Machine on the first Saturday of every month. Sometimes live intergalactic electronic jams, sometimes heavy bass music, sometimes house and techno, mostly unclassifiable and always good.

You’ll want to be part of this ecosystem.

[186 Harvard Ave., Allston. 10pm/21+/$5. @Music_Ecology. musicecologyboston.com]

Throwed | Middle East | Cambridge | Tuesday

It’s Tuesday night and you are between the ages of 18 and 19. This means you are at E-Marce’s party. By now, the legend of Throwed is known throughout the region as a kind of coming-of-age ritual on the level (7s?) of Luke’s travels through the Degobah cave or some kind of volcano visitation of the south Pacific. Give yourself to the electro/dubstep gods and throw your body into its gaping, neon maw. But they don’t just dub to fuckstep as much as welcome some of the craziest, scariest (scaziest?), pogo-til-you-puke guests this side of the Camp Bisco parking lot (see Dirtyphonics, Skism and Dirtyloud). Not content with that, this freshman-sophomore pigpile is home to another resident DJ, Mr. Texas Mike, party photographer demigod James Coletta, more push-up bras than the sale rack at Victoria’s Secret and theme parties like “Blacklight Bubble Party,” “White Trash Bash” and “Rage Pong.”

Get your go-go on at least once and remember to strap it before your brap it.

[480 Mass. Ave., Central Sq., Cambridge. @throwedboston. Facebook.com/throwedpresents]

Re:Set Wednesdays | Phoenix Landing | Cambridge | Wednesday

Don’t let the 19+ age fool you, this is grown and sexy house music featuring some of the area’s finest international guests. When your Wednesday night party is rooted in the legend of global party boys Soul Clap, it happens. Consider, then the list of recent appearances: Maceo Plex, Paul Woolford and motherfucking Claude Von Stroke, for starters. Add to that the expert-level tendencies of residents Party Bison, DJ D-Lux and Mark Ingram and you’re talking about some deep, dark, delicious grooves. Hold onto your pants, because the club can get practically light-proof, and the scene can get quite interested in coming home with you.

They don’t bite, unless you ask very nicely.

[512 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. @ReSetBoston. Facebook.com/resetboston]

Wobble Wednesdays | Wonder Bar | Allston | Wednesday

Wanna wobble? Want more whimsy to your wub? Well wook no further as the week wanes, when work wishes farewell, The Brain Trust/Wobblesauce crew is just warming up. Take one part festie flea market, two parts electronic and three parts live instruments, this is the spot for it. Think Eliot Lipp or NguzuNguzu or Biodiesel has the groove on lockdown? They’ve all played here. Or how about Auto Orbit or Tiger and Woods or Eprom? Same difference. Ever dreamt of munching on chocolate chip pancakes while dancing to the magnificent tapestry of tribal sounds that is Supersillyus? This is your lucky dance night. Wobble is an institution at this point and the one party you should be getting a degree in. Doctoral of funk, a B.S. in groove theory, a B.A. in ass-shakerey, whatever you want to study, grab a textbook (a hula hoop or some glow-in-the-dark facepaint) because class is in session.

[186 Harvard Ave., Allston. @TrustTheBrain. Facebook.com/wobblewednesdaysatwonderbar]

Photo Credit: Garret Stryknyne DuPaul

Elements | Phoenix Landing | Cambridge | Thursday

So you want to dance, huh?

How badly do you need to move? Feel like challenging your body to a duel? Each of you gets the same amount of water, but the tempo has to go up. Higher. Ever higher. Welcome to the land of Drum and Bass, a 150-and-up beat per minute that will have your sweat sweating. This isn’t amateur hour, this is severe, epicalicious swervy grooves laid down by resident DJs Crook and (all hail) Lenore plus their magnanimous rotating door of uptempo superstars. You want Goldie? Ever heard of Dara? How about John B? You may not be ready for the jungle/d’n’b style, but you eventually will be, so you might as well get a head start before Elements wins out.

[512 Mass Ave., Cambridge. @Elementsdnb. Elements-dnb.com]

Make it New | Middlesex Lounge | Cambridge | Thursday

Next semester, you’re really going to want to make sure you have no early classes on Friday morning, because Make it New is every Thursday night and I want you to drill that into your little brains. This is. The best. Techno party in all the land. Resident DJs Alan Manzi, Baltimoroder, David Day and John Barera come from a long history of record stores and underground electronic music – these guys could teach you a thing or two – when you’re done dancing, that is. Expect a packed Middlesex Lounge every Thursday night with the best crowds and bartenders in the city. They’ve had Jacques Greene. They’ve had Legowelt. They’ve had Sian. It would take us about 20 minutes to list off all the DJs that spun at Make It New over the past seven years who are now world-famous, but it only takes us one clause to tell you that we’re in on the secret, and the bookings for this Fall are going to blow your minds.

You picked a very good time to move to Boston.

[315 Mass. Ave., Cambridge. @Basstown. facebook.com/basstown]

Bassic | Good Life | Boston | Friday

Bassnectar’s annual sold-out shows at the House of Blues have become quite a tradition for College freshmen in Boston. And when I tell you that this is a “dubstep” night, most of your minds will probably speed and screech to he with the swinging black hair, or perhaps Skrillex, Datsik, Excision, Nero …no. It’s time to grow up, get your minds out of the gutter, and cleanse yourself of that filthy dubstep mentality. For the past five years, BASSIC has saved Friday nights in Boston and turned them into deep dancing crowds in an atmospherically wondrous basement bar, with meticulously selected DJs and producers of quality bass music. Co-founded by Damian Silva (the GM of Good Life) and Chris Ward (C-Dubz), BASSIC will bring bass music with a darker vibe, the kind that makes you re-evaluate your life, or simply go “BU-WUH?!” when you hear they’ve booked the likes of Scuba & Boddika, and Goth-Trad.

It’s the underground warehouse bass party in the UK of your wildest dreams right here in Boston.

[28 Kingston St., Boston. @BASSIC_BOSTON. Bassicboston.com]

Wonderland | Rise Nightclub | Boston | Friday, Glow – Saturday

The home of the 18+ party, Fridays at Rise welcomes you with open arms and one impossibly gigantic soundsystem. Feel free to take as much kandi as you want from strangers. Who’s that behind the decks? That’s Jay K and Damien Paul, aka White Rabbits all of them. Who’s that shooting your picture? That’s Gina (she’ll have them up tomorrow). Why is everyone smiling? Might have something to do with the mountain-size fun they are having. Any other questions? Just ask one of the go-go dancers. You want a reason to talk to them anyway, don’t you? The best news out of the South End’s home for the after-party is the Wonderland crew is sort of cloning itself this year as DJs Glowkids and Fuse are peeling off to host Glow Saturdays this Fall.

That makes two weekend 18+ dance nights each and every time. Who knew we would be so lucky?

[306 Stuart Street, Boston. 1am-6am/18+/prices vary. @GLOWKIDSandFUSE. riseclub.us/clubnights/wonderland/]

Fresh Produce | Good Life | Boston | Saturday

You know why Lil Wayne is crying? Because you’re waving bye to him, forever. For the best hip-hop party in Boston, look no further than Saturday nights on the calendar on goodlifebar.com. Every month, Undergroundhiphop.com, Frank 151 magazine and super blog Jumptheturnstyle.com join forces with local DJs Tommee and Knife to bring top DJs and producers from across the country to spin, scratch, boom, bap, mix and most importantly, serve you the freshest beats in town. As the records spin, expect some reggae, some MCs spittin’ fire, some new and some oldschool hip-hop. I mean, the guys just celebrated their six-year anniversary by bringing 9TH WONDER and DJ PREMIER to Boston—they know people. For only five bucks, chill, dance and drink for five hours – not a bad deal. If Kitty Pryde is killing hip-hop, Fresh Produce is the elixir.

[28 Kingston St., Boston. freshproduceboston.com]

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About LAUREN METTER

Lauren Metter is from Allentown, PA. Jokes about Amish people and Billy Joel will be greeted with a Lauren Metter Look of Death.
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3 Responses to BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL: *10 DANCE NIGHTS IN BOSTON / CAMBRIDGE

  1. Deadmau5 Deadmau5 says:

    It doesn’t matter what amazing acts that Throwed gets to headline their night, I seriously would never go back. No re-entry, if you want to drink you have to stay in the upstairs drinking carrel, and deal with a bunch of sweaty fist pumping bros.

    Even though they pay pretty girls to go party and wear nothing but bras, it’s doesn’t make up for the otherwise shitty atmosphere≥

  2. Pingback: BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL: BOSTON SUCKS* | DigBoston