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HELLA NEWSWORTHY: KANYE ANNOUNCES NEW ALBUM, TOPS CRAZY-PERSON STANDARDS PREVIOUSLY SET BY SELF

Yeezus Cover Art

It’s been a big couple of weeks for Kanye West, and this is a man who spends most regular weeks go-karting with supermodels and calling the President out on racism. Back on May 2, Yeezy revived his Twitter only to deliver the cryptic message “June 18,” much like Moses descending from the mountaintop, tablets in hand. Kanye quickly deleted that Tweet, but left the world with a message: the proper follow-up to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, arguably the greatest hip-hop album of the decade, was on its way:

The rumors of collaborators have swirled with appropriate vigor, too. Furtive whispers of joints with Daft Punk, shock-rap collective Odd Future, 2 Chainz, womp-womp purveyor Skrillex, and crooner John Legend have all surfaced in a recent Rolling Stone piece. Plus, Kanye’s been working in Paris with Chicago upstarts King L, Chief Keef, and Young Chop.

As if that’s not enough, there’s also talk that the International Asshole himself raps over beats cooked up by producer duo TNGHT, which, at the risk of editorializing, sounds radical as fuck.

But this past week delivered unto us a new gospel from Yeezy. Last Friday, 66 walls worldwide acted as projection screens for a short video of Kanye’s face rapping the first single off his new album, “New Slaves.”

In it, Kanye samples a song by some Hungarian rock band and structures the chorus around the couplet “There’s leaders and there’s followers/but I’d rather be a dick than a swallower.”

But there’s more!

The next day, Kanye appeared as musical guest on Saturday Night Live, performing “New Slaves” and another song ostensibly from the album, Black Skinhead, which is mostly Kanye screaming. But the mentally-unhinged icing on this savory cake of insanity came the next morning, when the world woke up and, as the citizens of Earth do first thing every morning, checked Kim Kardashian’s Instagram. The holy vessel for the rap game’s messiah had posted a photo of a weird, metallic CD jewel box and hashtagged the photo “#yeezus,” which was later confirmed as the album’s title on iTunes’s pre-order page, and then hastily removed. The man titled his new work not only after himself, but then popped off a portmanteau of his name and the SON OF GOD.

So let’s just quickly run down the Kanye checklist:

-Racial persecution complex bordering on overt paranoia? CHECK!
-Wrecking crew of collaborators so high-profile that it makes A$AP Rocky look like a Myspace band based out of a Spokane garage? CHECK!
-Christ complex that Kanye doesn’t even bother to try to cover up anymore? CHECK!
-Mind-blowing punwork? CHECK!
-Deliberate trickling of details that has us frothing at the mouth? CHECK CHECK A MILLION TIMES CHECK!

Don’t call me on June 18th. Seriously, just leave me alone. I’ll be busy.

Below, let us all revisit Kanye’s finest hour. Look at the way he’s miraculously appeared on stage the moment the camera cuts away from P!nk’s face. Observe the beatific shrug, betraying his fundamental detachment from the situation as a whole.

Truly, a god among mere mortals.


About CHARLES BRAMESCO

Charles Bramesco attends school in New Orleans and lives in Massachusetts. He once met Tommy Wiseau, and claims that that was the moment at which he felt the closest to God.
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