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DEAR READER: OUR VOTING ISSUE

dear reader

This is our voting issue, and by that I mean it is the issue that falls on the time when you should really go out and vote.

Do it because they don’t want you to. Do it because there are issues that really, truly do affect you and the people you care about. Do it because it’s fun to punch holes in official documents. Do it for reasons. But rather than telling you those reasons why, I’m just going to borrow the format from an awesome Tumblr and do this:

I hope Mitt Romney opens up his favorite magazine and gets a paper-cut on the first page and the experience is ruined for him.

I hope Mitt Romney eats too much leftover Halloween candy and gets a stomachache even though he’s supposed to go get milkshakes with Paul Ryan later. I hope Mitt Romney’s computer gets the spinning-wheel-of-death when he’s trying to refresh election results. I hope Mitt Romney finds Paul Ryan’s Burn Book and it turns out Paul thinks Mitt is only half a virgin. I hope Mitt Romney can’t find Waldo and has to cheat and go to the back of the book but it turns out it was really obvious. I hope Mitt Romney realizes that one of his children (the blonde one, probably) voted for Obama.

Anyway, make sure you go out and vote on November 6. Because otherwise you won’t get a sticker that says “I Voted.”

You’ll get one that says nothing because no stickers for people who don’t exercise their rights as Americans.


About CADY DRELL

Cady is the A+E Editor. You can send her an email at any time, as she gets separation anxiety when away from her phone longer than 30 seconds.
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One Response to DEAR READER: OUR VOTING ISSUE

  1. LYSSA GOLDBERG LYSSA GOLDBERG says:

    “I hope Mitt Romney finds Paul Ryan’s Burn Book and it turns out Paul thinks Mitt is only half a virgin.” *thumbs up*