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THE BRAWL FOR CITY HALL: HOW TO CAMPAIGN LIKE A BOSTON BASTARD

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Above credit: AP Photos

Since the Hub’s mayoral pool morphed from 12 talents into a much smaller scrum, it’s become increasingly clear that the remaining hopefuls represent disparate sides of Boston’s liberal divide. On one mitt, there’s City Councilor-At-Large John Connolly—a reliable backer of progressive causes like environmentalism, so long as they’re politically expedient (you might call him a neoliberal). On the other side, there’s state Rep. Marty Walsh—less a friend of corporations, more of a working class union guy, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Muddying the perception of said diverging credentials, within hours of officially advancing to the final, Connolly called on Walsh to sign a “People’s Pledge,” which would ostensibly penalize candidates in the event that outside groups drop coin on their behalves. This marked a reversal from Connolly’s prior refusal to sign the same pledge during the preliminary, as well as his seeming realization of how much better Walsh is at attracting cash.

Of course, few people actually care about the so-called “issues”—especially those in the headlines this past week. The candidates and their advisers know this, though they appear to be getting distracted.

As such, we briefly benched all that bickering, and identified some grassroots strategies for both to pursue as the clock ticks toward Election Day …

HOW WALSH CAN WIN:

Ask Jamaica Plain voters to storm doors for him in Roslindale and wherever else their friends are moving to for lower rents.

Solidify endorsements from even more former mayoral candidates who dislike Connolly. Should be easy, as there’s no shortage of those.

Sound a bit less like a bumbling fool when he speaks. On second thought, it worked for Menino.

Prove to lefties that he’s actually the more progressive candidate, at least in the sense that he doesn’t gorge on contributions from corporate executives.

Say something surprisingly nasty about his former employer, the Boston Building Trades Council. The workers will understand, and it could win points with the union-hating union journalists at the Globe.

HOW CONNOLLY CAN WIN:

Cement his support in the South End, Back Bay, and everywhere else that the people are too wealthy to give a shit about his proposals for public schools.

Appeal to Irish and yuppie voters in South Boston, both of which he has a bit in common with.

Call on capitalist crooks every where to match the money raised by his opponent’s union machine.

Drop the Billy Mays pitch-man schtick; stop giving every stump speech like it’s a close family member’s eulogy.

For five minutes every day, pretend to care about issues that aren’t education.

Check out THE BRAWL FOR CITY HALL: BOSTON ELECTORATE’S MICRO-DEMOGRAPHICS


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