Love sports or loathe them, the entitled characters who play them make some awesomely destructive decisions for the public to devour and emulate. Some of these so-called “scandals” are self-inflicted, while a handful stem more from the competitive nature of the world in which they romp. Others are just plainly criminal. Here’s the absolute best of the worst:
Though few expected him to be one of the stupidest cold-blooded killers in the history of homicide, now-former New England Patriots tight end and area MENSA candidate Aaron Hernandez surprised few by having his North Attleboro home searched in connection with a fatal shooting. The saga continues, with the Pats doing a much better job than Hernandez of cleaning up their mess.
Jared Remy, a human meatball and son of renowned Boston sports restauranteur Jerry Remy, was arraigned after neighbors in Waltham watched him stab his girlfriend Jennifer Martel to death. Despite the younger Remy’s history of violent misogyny and clear steroid abuse, and his father’s failure to reign in his gorilla seed, Red Sox Nation flinched, farted, then looked away like nothing happened.
Since motherfuckers are jealous, it’s no surprise that St. Louis scrub Tyler Melling snitched on Sox lefty Jon Lester for allegedly harboring a Vaseline glove boogey in Game 1 of the World Series. Blurry video only made the ordeal more excruciating, especially for Cardinals fans.
Around the time he was helping swing the mayoral election toward Marty Walsh, Red Sox first basemen Mike Napoli was seen drunkenly guest-bartending and performing his shirtless Iron Sheik impersonation on Boylston Street. Of course, World Series champions don’t have scandals. As Boston.com put it, they keep the “good times rolling.”
The better behaved Patriots tight end, Rob Gronkowski raised eyebrows in November by calling an Asian fan “Leslie Chow”–the Chinese caricature from The Hangover”–and saying, on camera, “they told me he could only cook fried rice.” Now that he’s since torn his ACL and MCL and can no longer play football, we can’t think of a single thing that Gronk can possibly contribute to society.
Not really a scandal, per se, since the sports geeks on NPR were the only ones lame enough to disapprove, but you can’t omit the vicious beating Bruins forward Shawn Thornton recently gave Brooks Orpik of the Pittsburgh Penguins. Not exactly a Disney on Ice moment.