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2013 YEAR IN REVIEW: THE YEAR IN PROBLEMATIC WORDS

ProblemWurds

One of the glorious things about the English language is that it’s so malleable–like a contraceptive sponge soaking up the verbal jizz of a million two-bit tossers at once. On the flip side, that means some extremely annoying terms end up in the lexicon. Here’s our list of the most idiotic phrases and ideophones of 2013.

ALT-AMERICANA
Alt was one of the most ill-defined genre tags of last century, while Americana is possibly the most useless, ill-defined genre to metastasize this millennium. Taken as a whole, Alt-Americana ups the ante into insufferable territory. As such, we still call it country beat for liberals.

BLACKENED DUB
The metal scene is by far the ugliest offender when it comes to obtuse micro-genres, but this combination of black metal and dub reggae is the most absurd yet. Thankfully, this schlock barely made it past the realm of hapless publicity emails.

MELTY
The ilk that brought you the Filet-O-Fish and discount bento boxes have returned with a tragic non-committal adjective for the history books. The cheese on this Mc-Chic-Fil-Arby’s sandwich isn’t actually melted–it’s “melty,” because promising melted cheese is perjury when you’re peddling Velveeta.

JAPANESEY
This was always a cringe-inducer when it followed “easy peasy,” but once living RealDoll Katy Perry used the descriptor to defend her ignorant geisha performance at the American Music Awards, the insult went from bad to awful.

RATCHET
This relatively new pejorative for trashy is classist, misogynistic, and beloved by middle class white girls everywhere. Now that it’s become the provenance of the Spencer Gifts jewelry rack, it’s time to put this one away.

PROBLEMATIC
It’s blogger shorthand for racist! But only if you’re feeling oh-so white-guilty about the fact that your favorite celeb just outed themselves as an uncouth, racially insensitive clod who, say, used the phrase Japanesey. Or ratchet. Either way, it’s problematic.

BACK TO 2013


About SEAN L. MALONEY

Maloney listens to a lot of weird music and watches a lot of bad movies.
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