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MEDIA FARM: KEANE ON WEED, GRAHAM CAN’T READ

MF_1617Web

COME KEANE

It’s impossible to altogether cease from hammering the Boston Globe and others for their awful marijuana coverage. It’s not necessarily all negative, or ignorant, or prohibitionist–at least not all at once–but what almost always sucks about their subjective news and aimless op-eds is how they’re of such zero consequence, little more than hollow screeds comprised of tired dinner table rants and old anti-reefer cliches. Speaking of which, Globe stud Tom Keane, the paper’s undisputed king of columns that say absolutely nothing, got ready for 4.20 last week with a bomb dubbed “Boston’s pot pushback” about Mayor Marty Walsh’s stance on cannabis. A few notes on Keane’s masterpiece:

  • It includes not one but two joint-rolling puns, with “the inevitable roll-out of medical marijuana” followed further down by “marijuana has been on a roll (so to speak).” So to speak, we’re guessing Keane ripped both those lines out of a disgruntled conservative high school student’s private diary.
  • Also check this clever and amusing parenthetical: “A few scandals ensued (no one is surprised, right?) but the upshot appeared to be that Boston would be getting at least two dispensaries.”
  • There’s a part where Keane, like a student who reminds their teacher to give homework, advises on potential “loopholes” through which Walsh might continue to thwart the will of voters: “Boston could put the dispensaries on hold while it studies them further. It can use its nearly unbridled control over permitting and zoning to make sure that a proposed dispensary somehow just never passes muster. Delaying things long enough is really just as good as banning them outright.” How noble. How democratic.
  • We are, however, happy Keane at least acknowledged us: “I’ve noticed over the last few years–coinciding, interestingly enough, with decriminalization in 2008–that pot smoking has become more pervasive and public.” You’re damn right it is.

MARATHON MISHAPS

Without being so crass as to implicate outlets by name, we’d just like to note how utterly disgraceful we found at least 26.2 percent of bombing anniversary and marathon coverage (though it was impressive how the Boston Herald devised several dozen variations of the headline “Meb Won The Marathon For All Of Us”). From incessant cheerleading to the entirely unnecessary minute after minute check-ins from the finish line, it took some joy out of what was otherwise a genuine triumph. At its ugliest, the endless gushing spun way out of control and into extra bad embarrassing territory, as some television news hairdos sloppily butchered the names of victims. We don’t think it was intentional, but at some point, shouting pandering nothings deep into the Boston Strong echo chamber is a journalistic crime all on its own. Finally, don’t forget to visit Thrillist’s list of “21 Things You Have To Explain To Out Of Towners About Boston,” and to tell them to go fuck themselves in the comments.

SICKENING

The following sentences actually ran in a publication. Some editor, some writer, somewhere thought this was acceptable in some way or another. Do whatever it takes to ease the pain this may inflict on your intellectual spirit, but we recommend downing two shots of Jameson for every shameless product placement and a beer for every mention of a nitwit who effectively led countless stupid parents to deprive their kids of basic vaccinations. Raise your reading glasses …

Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg just announced that they are engaged to be married on her talk show The View! “Turn on #theview It’s gonna be a goooood one. : )” the 41-year-old entertainer host tweeted that morning.

Earlier today (April 16), Jenny got a Sally Hansen Manicure, where she showed off her huge engagement ring – see the pics below! Donnie also followed up with, “Dropping by @theviewtv to visit my girl…” on his Twitter account.

The couple made their first red carpet appearance together back in August at the Dancing with the Stars Charity Event. Congratulations to Jenny and Donnie on the wonderful news! We can’t wait to find out wedding details!

GRAHAM SCHEME

In plugging his recent screed about Justina Pelletier, the Connecticut teenager tragically caught in the Massachusetts healthcare bureaucracy, Herald columnist Michael Graham tweeted (along with a link to his personal site, where you can then click through to his original Herald gem): “Dear #mapoli media: How is this NOT a news story? … #FreeJustina.” Since it turns out just about every mainstream outlet from here to New York City has been on the Pelletier beat, we answered Graham’s question below with an abridged list of coverage he should probably peruse before hurling more baseless red meat to his insultingly simple legionnaires …

WCVB (ABC)

Slate

The Boston Globe

Patch

The Hartford Courant

The Worcester Telegram

The Berkshire Eagle

Plus about a million gutless conservative sites that, like Graham, do a whole lot more complaining that the story isn’t being covered than anything else.

 

[Media Farm is wrangled weekly by DigBoston News+Features Editor Chris Faraone]

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One Response to MEDIA FARM: KEANE ON WEED, GRAHAM CAN’T READ

  1. call me roy call me roy says:

    Who is the Governor who has failed to use his power as chief executive of the state to release Justina Pelletier from DCF’s custody and reunite her with her parents, sisters and family doctors. He has the executive power to pardon convicted criminals with the stroke of a pen, yet ignores the plight of an innocent, sick adolescent in state care. It’s a dereliction of duty that Governor Patrick has not taken action to free Justina into the loving arms of her family,” commented Rev. Patrick Mahoney a spokesperson for the Pelletier Family.
    Many American’s don’t yet know about this unbelievable horror situation. There is a young person held captive in Massachusetts today who is not
    allowed to participate in religious ceremonies, or visit family without government agents watching. No, it’s not the accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. It’s 15-year-old mitochondrial disease patient and non-terrorist Justina Pelletier. U.S. District Court Judge George O’Toole Jr.
    ruled Wednesday that the now-20-year-old charged with four deaths and injuring of more than 260 people should be able to see his sisters without an
    FBI agent present. The feds can appeal, but he says their case would have to be “pretty convincing.” “Can you believe it?” That was Jennifer Pelletier’s
    response when she was told about the ruling. She’s Justina’s older sister — and every visit she has with her wheelchair-bound sister is held under the
    watchful eye of agents from both the state’s Department of Children and Families and — since the story went national — armed state police! The
    family is only allowed one visit a week, for one hour a week, with their own sick daughter. “It’s hard for me to say this,” Justina’s father Lou told me
    Wednesday, “but a terrorist is getting better treatment in Massachusetts right now than a sick teenager who’s done nothing wrong.” And that’s the
    source of rage among Justina’s supporters. She’s the one who’s suffering and all she did was come down with an illness. Is it the same mitochondrial
    disorder that her sister Jessica has? That was the diagnosis two years when she was treated by doctors at Tufts. Or is the rare and controversial
    diagnosis of somatoform the right one, as determined by a doctor after less than an hour at the Peoples Republic Boston Children’s Hospital? That’s
    the diagnosis the Pelletier family rejected, choosing instead to return their daughter to Tufts.
    Please call Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick at (617) 725-4005. It is tragic that every young person in the Wayside Youth Facility will be able
    to spend time with their family and celebrate Easter except one. That is Justina Pelletier. It appears that DCF is punishing Justina and the Pelletier family rather than trying to reunite them, which is their stated purpose. The only solution to this nightmare is to return Justina Pelletier back into the loving arms of her family. And all of you Americans think you live in a free country? Think again! It’s about time the Governor of Massachusetts does something about this Gestapo bullshet! How does this horrible Dr. Eli Newberger, have such enormous and unchecked power? Heil Hitler?
    This Juvenile Court Judge Joseph Johnson is even worse, he should be thrown off the bench. This poor girl and her family’s rights have been totally
    destroyed for over a year. Is something involving illegal medical testing is going on at that hospital? Apparently, something illegal is going on? How
    this could ever happen in America is a travesty. I hope they sue Massachusetts, this Pravda doctor and the Peoples Republic of Boston Children’s Hospital for 100 million dollars. Let them all lose their jobs and their reputations for this unbelievable disdain for justice. This is the most ridiculous
    news story ever in America. By the way folks, why isn’t this news story on the main stream media (ABC, CBS, NBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, NPR, the Associated Press, Reuters, Politico, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Daily Beast, the National Journal, the Atlantic Wire, The Christian Science Monitor, etc? What are they hiding?
    Justice is coming Justina. Hang on.