I think this is the first year that I can honestly say that the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday is nothing more than a minor blip on my radar. Let’s face facts here: It’s the time of year that the people in relationships fill up your facebook feed with pictures of dozens of roses, stupid teddy bears, bottles of champagne, and other instagram-ed photos that say,

“HEY! Look at me! I am not alone!”

There are also the posts of the single ladies; the drunken cliché duck-faced photos with other girls that say, “Look at us pretending we do duck face in real life! We are strong and independent! We go out and drink on week nights!” These are the people who, if they were in a relationship would be the first to rub their trail of rose petals leading up to a candlelight bed dinner in your face.

As for me, I’ve wound up in a parking lot in tears on one Valentine’s Day before Facebook existed so I tragically wasn’t able to post my two-year-relationship tear-stained face on the internet. Another year, my boyfriend at the time and I ate so much at dinner that I spent the rest of the night trying to throw up in a Beacon Hill bar bathroom.

Other years I have been too busy feeding my cat, taking pictures with my cat, petting my cat or dancing around the living room with my cat.

The past two years I have gotten really drunk at bars and met boys whom I can only assume were single or dirty liars since they were out at bars on Valentine’s Day. (Who cares, I had martinis and weenies.)

I’ve had years where I have purposely volunteered to work at my bar so people in relationships can have it off to go to dinner. I have subsequently felt better about my life as I watched the poor guys who brought women into my bar on Valentine’s Day.

This year I feel … different.

I don’t know if it’s because for once I don’t have an ex-boyfriend in the back of my mind. For once I’m not chasing anyone, wondering what I could be doing differently or when I should have stopped texting him in last night’s drunken stupor. For once I simply don’t care about Valentine’s Day, and it feels so good to finally not be lying.

I suppose my mind is occupied with other things, like a long distance correspondence with a friend who makes my heart pound on all days that aren’t Valentine’s Day, or telling the guy who has sat at my bar all night that no, I don’t need him to walk me home, I’m perfectly fine on my own.

Either way, Valentine’s Day is coming and there are millions of ways to spend it.

So grab your boys, your cats, your girls, your significant other, your internet catfish or your martini, and enjoy the day. It is just another day after all.

Join @BarHavoc for Harpoon beers (On us!!), free condoms, and oodles of tantalizing treats and raffles TONIGHT (2/13) at The Avenue for our #LastMinuteLove Tweet-up! Facebook Event HERE.


Lizzie Havoc is a Boston bartender, writer and pro-wrestler. Keep up with the Boston bar scene weekly on and at