Sex 

BAR HAVOC: NOT SO DUMB BLONDE

banana1-300x300

People always think that as a bartender, men must be falling at my feet. Flirting with the bartender is just what people do, so clearly I should have no trouble whatsoever getting laid. As awesome as this sounds and as true as it might be for others, I’m going to be honest—besides the occasional coworker, in all my years behind the bar I have never once met and wound up hooking up with a guy while working. I do just fine in other settings—I am not, by any means, ever too far off from my next conquest. But at work, it’s different.

I am friendly, but I am not one of those girls who bats her eyelashes for tips.

I would rather impress you with my knowledge of our craft beer selection than with my boobs.

That being said, let’s move on to something a little on the girly side: hair. I have spent the majority of my life as a faux ginger. My hair is naturally mousy brown, and in high school, I started dying it auburn. With the exception of a few years of rebellion with crazy haircuts and experimenting with pinks, blues, and purples, I have always had long red hair. I woke up one morning about a few years ago after a breakup with a new idea in my head.

Blonde.

I didn’t think anyone would care, but as the days went by I started to notice a serious difference in the way men talked to me. People held doors, bought me drinks, smiled more. Is this for real? Maybe it was in the way I held myself; I had just received a promotion at both my jobs and I admit, at that time I had good reason for some added pep in my step.

Either way, people always say blondes have more fun, and I was starting to think they weren’t kidding.

My bar shifts started to end in multiple phone numbers written on napkins and bar receipts. Guys hung around a little past closing and asked what I was doing after work. Men whistled in the streets. I started to wonder: was I invisible as a redhead?

My driver’s license is the only redheaded photo of myself I see on a regular basis. I’ve thought about going dark again every winter, but I think it’s high time I realize what I’ve gotten myself into. These past few years have literally been the best of my life. I have had everything I have ever dreamed of and more, and how did that all happen?

My hard work? My determination to create my own destiny?

Nah. Fuck that. It’s gotta be the hair.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a dumb blonde.


About BAR HAVOC

Lizzie Havoc is a Boston bartender, writer and pro-wrestler. Keep up with the Boston bar scene bi-weekly on DigBoston.com and at www.twitter.com/BarHavoc.
'

Comments are closed.