Sandra Daugherty, AKA Sex Nerd Sandra, is a podcaster, sex educator, lover of tactile wallpaper, and the coach of Team Fun. Usually located in Los Angeles, she has embarked on her first East Coast tour. Her first stop was Boston, and she will soon head to NYC, Philadelphia, and Washington, D.C. to spread her wisdom about sex and fun.
What is a Sex Nerd and why do you do it?
A sex nerd is a person who brings a sense of curiosity and discovery, and an understanding that sex is dynamic. It’s not a static thing. It’s not just a verb. It’s an intellectual pursuit as well, and the challenge of a sex nerd is marrying the intellectual fascination with sex with the embodied experience of sex. I used to work, doing things that really made me miserable. I made a lot more money, but then I would spend much more of my money in my spare time, filling the void that was my misery.
Doing something that I actually love, even when I’m not making that much money per se, I’m extraordinarily happy. I guess that would be being fulfilled.
Why has it taken you so long to go on tour?
I have busy doing other things, like growing a lot as a human. Actually, for me, a huge turning point was going to Comic-Con this year. It was my first time at Comic-Con, and to see the meeting of fans and creators was so joyful on both sides. For me, there was always a lot of anxiety around live shows because it’s outside the realm of teaching.
I teach giving permission for sexual exploration, but I couldn’t find the permission for being on stage in a podcast sense.
To me, podcasting in front of a lot of people is kind of dumb. Because it’s radio, but in front of people.
If you were the coach of Team Fun, what would you hope all of your players would know?
Team Fun specifically is about not antagonizing your partner(s), and finding a common goal—because you don’t know what sport you’re playing necessarily. And you might be playing for one reason, while your teammate might be playing for a different reason. So if you can’t figure out which way you’re heading, things are going to get a little complicated and no one is going to end up scoring.
So, I think it’s finding common ground in terms of what sport you want to play.