MAGIC WAND REMOTE CONTROL

Harry Potter fans, get ready to shit your pants.

UK-based The Wand Company Ltd crafts a buttonless, motion-sensitive wand that’s prepared to make your outdated, box-of-a-remote control vanish into thin air…or the junk drawer.

“Who of those among us hasn’t at one time or other wished with all their heart that they might own a wand and perform magic? I am not talking of the charlatan fakery and sleight of hand gimmicks that close-up magicians often do in cabaret; no, I am talking about great and proper action-at-a-distance Magic,” says a letter on the website.

Although turning the volume up a few notches while enjoying your newest DVD, Born to Be Wild 3D, may not exactly be the usual, fantastical vision of what classifies as magic (HELLO instant transportation to Disney World), it’s still pretty fucking sweet.

The wand, called the Kymera Magic Wand, has replaced the buttons of a traditional remote control with 13 “easy to learn gestures” and infrared codes that can perform just about any command that the original version does.

To master of the art of the wand, Ron Weasley wannabe’s must first instruct the device to learn these gestures. According to the website, the wand comes delivered in Practice Mode. It is recommended that the new owner

“hold the wand lightly in the hand, steady and level, and make short, positive movements…With a little bit of practice you will be easily able to amaze and delight your friends and family, by working your incredible magic.”

For example, rotating the wand clockwise and counterclockwise could adjust volume, and flicking the wand up and down works well for browsing channels. The wand is compatible with any device you could use a remote control for, including televisions, DVD players, DVRs, and the like.

So go ahead, purchase the wand on the company’s website or Amazon for $69.95. It’s a humble fee to pay to the Geek Gods. And while the wand and The Wand Company Ltd have no official ties to Harry Potter, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, or any other magic-associated piece of pop culture, according to Amazon, this item is frequently bought together with “The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook: From Cauldron Cakes to Knickerbocker Glory” and Harry Potter Bertie Botts Every Flavour Jelly Beans, just to let you know the exclusive assembly of clientele you’ll be joining.

Legilimens! I was right! You did love reading this.