Any day of a week, it’s a fair bet you can find a Dig staffer bellied up to the bar.
Twice a year, we even take notes.
It’s time again for our semiannual 5 Drink Minimum feature—five bars, five drinks, five writers showing up a bit on the late side the next morning. This time, we’re getting those bellies up off the bar for our first-ever 5 Drink Neighborhood Crawl. Was it a marathon? A sprint? A one-legged sack race? Read on and find out.
DAVIS SQUARE’D WITH J.PAT
I’ve lived in Davis Square for almost as long as I’ve been in Boston, and in that time, I’ve seen it transform from “that place with the cool coffee shop and one or two decent bars” to the “the place with the cool coffee shop, and like, four or five really good bars.”
Girlfriend and Hot Friend in tow, I’m going to those bars.
DRINK 1: FIVE HORSES TAVERN, BARTENDER’S CHOICE
AVERY DUGENA $8
Hell is other people on a Friday night, but Five Horses has a huge bar, and I am very unpleasant, so we stake fairly quickly. Staunch traditionalist that I am, I let the bartender set the pace for the evening. “How do you feel about IPAs?” She asks me, which is the second best thing she could have responded with, after “Would you like to pay for this in kisses?” We are given three guesses as to the beer’s identity, which makes me feel like my server is a wizard. We eat a burrito and tater tots. Everything is good, probably forever.
[400 Highland Ave. @5HorsesTavern. fivehorsestavern.com]
DRINK 2: PAINTED BURRO, SONG PLAYING
TEQUILA SHOT AND BEER $7
Friday Night, part Deux—the Burro is packed, again we finagle a free corner, and again we are repulsive to others. “Love Will Tear Us Apart” is blaring, a fact which I will point out several times. I order the Corona and tequila, because it is two things, Joy Division reminds me of math. My Hot Friend Aki finally picks up on the fact that this is an actual assignment, and that I don’t just arbitrarily make up rules that dictate my evenings out. I kinda want to start doing that now.
[219 Elm St. @ThePaintedBurro. thepaintedburro.com]
DRINK 3: FLATBREADS, WRITER’S CHOICE
WORMTOWN BE HOPPY IPA $4.25
When I first moved here, Sacco’s Bowl Haven was where you’d go to shoot pool or someone who owed you money. Now, it’s an organic pizza joint with a bar built into one of the original bowing alleys. Full disclosure, it’s one of my favorite places in the whole entire world. So fuck it, I use my writer’s choice prerogative, grab my favorite beer, and hang out with my favorite people. “Emerge” by Metric comes on, which is also my favoritestest song. I realize this night has to go downhill from here. I draw an arrow and make a note that says “downhill.” Hot friend Aki runs to go poop out jalapenos. False alarm, everything still rules.
[45 Day St. @FlatbreadSville. flatbreadcompany.com]
DRINK 4: REDBONES, PHONE A FRIEND
“DIRTY WENDY” $11
Redbones always reminds me of home, so I call up my New Orleans drinking buddy, Julia, and get voicemail. I go straight to the top of my contact list and get in touch with Alyssa, who suggests a “Dirty Shirley,” which is a Shirley Temple with vodka. Julia calls me back, and her suggestion is a “Salty Perro,” which is Salty Dog with Tequila. I combine both into mixture of grapefruit juice, Tequila, and grenadine with a salt rim, that hot friend Aki proudly christens a “Dirty Wendy.” It is, through no fault of the bartender, absolutely terrible.
[55 Chester St. @Redbones. redbones.com]
DRINK 5: JOSHUA TREE, HOTTEST PERSON
PRAIRE FIRE $5
After closing out the last two bars, I realize that I haven’t been out this late in Davis and conscious in … well, ever. It’s after 1 a.m., so my options are the Burren and Joshua Tree, and the Burren has a cover. So I get to hear the first non-ironic usage of “bro” in … well, ever. Hot Friend Aki is my Hot Friend in the hole, so I cheat like a mother and let him pick my final drink. It’s, well, tequila and hot sauce. I had that coming. We sit by the plate glass window while two college students have a bad fistfight in the street. The techno song from Blade comes on. Everything is good. Forever.
[256 Elm St. joshuatreesomerville.com]