IN THE TUBES: SNOOP LION “REINCARNATED”

“An’ that ain’t wit no disrespect, but I’m tired of rapping,” Snoop says, chuckling as he smokes the ganj. He’s ready to spend the rest of his life just smokin’ weed.

Snoop Lion has finally decided to devote his life to his true calling: weed.

Vice + Snoopadelic Films’ upcoming documentary “Reincarnated” is about when he went to Jamaica to make a zero-rap album with Diplo and while there, connected with the Jamiacan people and converted to Rastafari. A scholar on the religion said that calling someone a dog in Jamaica is deeply insulting--so the fact that Snoop’s name was “Dogg,” (albeit with the added g, probs ’cause Snoop’s such a genuine G) shows how the “corrupt world -- Babylon, in Rasta theology -- had distorted the rapper’s true spiritual nature.”

Luckily, Snoop’s reincarnation solves all of these problems. You see, the chief Rasta sacrament is the one thing Snoop has always loved, more than rapping, more than the world, more than anything: smoking ganja.

Snoop, you are going to be the most deeply spiritual dude in Jamaica.

And even though you consider yourself the Reincarnation of Bob Marley (“Iron like a lion in Zion,” anyone? Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie is the messiah in the Rastafari religion, descended from King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba. Lion of Zion = Selassie.), we choose to ignore the insanity of that statement. Because as long as you’re high and happy, we are, too.

Love ya, Snoop Lion.