The Boston Fire Department has released a Halloween safety handout, cautioning against unsafe costumes, hazardous decorations, and that one assclown who thinks fireworks are for every friggin’ holiday. PLUS 2
At the 48th Head of the Charles Regatta, the Harvard men’s rowing team’s victory was overturned due to a late penalty call. And then, in true Harvard fashion, the Winklevii twins sued literally everyone. EVEN
Protesting hotel workers have come out in opposition to Le Meridien Hotel in Cambridge, citing poor working conditions, increased health care premiums, and “dangerously unsafe levels of pretension.” MINUS LE DEUX
Sandeep Singh, the man who walked away from last week’s Mega Millions jackpot with over $30 million, was dumped just days before by his girlfriend, reaffirming the old romantic maxim: “If you love someone, let them g– wait, HOW much?” PLUS 30
A pumpkin festival in Keene, New Hampshire fell just 1,500 gourds short of the world record for the most lit jack-o’-lanterns this past Saturday. “That’s roughly 15-score This Manys, I think,” said one official, holding up two hands and a foot. MINUS 15
THIS WEEK’S TOTAL: PLUS 15
LAST WEEK’S TOTAL: PLUS 100
© 1999-2013 Dig Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved.
I am one of those ass clowns you speak of who thinks fireworks are for every holiday. Why not? This area not being very festive, you have to create your own fun and fuck with the cocktail liberals, students, and foreigners. Now if you open the drawer to my old desk at Dig, you’ll find some roman candles, TAKE ONE. They are next to the condoms and to the right of the dinner mints. same drawers as my watercolors. seriously.
Candidates, take note. THAT is how you win a debate.