ILLUSTRATION BY ANNA JO BECK
Dear Boston undergrads yelling YOLO at one another,
I get that you’re new to the college scene and probably are living away from mom and dad for the first time. You feel liberated, free, and you want to fuck shit up in a haze of Irish car bombs and crushed Adderall.
We’ve all been in a time of our lives where we want to cut loose and raise a little hell, to scream to the heavens and proclaim ourselves untouchable. The catch is, you’re not.
You can scream YOLO as you shotgun your High Life or take a squat in the far end of the B train all you want, but some day you’re still going to die.
And at the rate you’re going it will probably be sooner than later.
This mantra of ‘You Only Live Once’ will not protect you from puking your guts out from a rickety Allston balcony, keep those compromising pictures from Thirsty Thursday off of Facebook, or validate fucking your TA. Please learn to handle your shit.
Annoyed individual drinking an actual decent beer
P.S.—I’m going to pretend you’re shouting ‘You Only Lick Otters’ from now on.
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