IN THE TUBES: HOMELESS HITCHHIKER KAI

In what should be a horrific and terrifying story about murder, Kai’s … let’s call it personality … makes the situation hysterical.

I completely forgot that I was hearing about a man getting brutally hit in the head with a hatchet when Kai says “Smash! … Smash! … Suh-maash! Yeah!”

Our hero, Kai, is a homeless surfer vigilante who doesn’t have a last name, “can’t call” his age, and just so happens to carry around a hatchet when he goes hitchhiking. From his wink at the camera to the way he says police (pole-is-ee), Kai certainly has his own style. Oh, and he also has marks from bashing in a man’s teeth that was beating a woman in an orchard on a completely different occasion.

This is one of those YouTube videos that people will quote for the rest of their lives.  There is just so many amazing one-liners from Kai. When explaining what would be a life changing event for any other person, Kai sees it as “gnarly” and the “biggest wave” he ever rode in his life. But I suppose it’s all in a day’s work for Kai, who moves on to trying to find some good surf.

In total honesty I am still not sure if this is a ridiculous, real news report, or some of the best trolling the Internet has ever seen. Either way, this is fantastic.