A BRIEF HISTORY OF DOING IT RIGHT

Everything you always wanted to know about the history of sex toys…but were afraid to ask.

26,000 BC: World’s first dildo

This 8-inch long stone beauty was discovered in a German cave and was thought to be used as both a sexual aide, and to knap flints. Crafty!

350 BC: Olive Oil Lube

Ancient Greeks used olive oil as a lubricant to ease the thrust of their wooden dildos. “Extra Virgin” has taken on a terrible new meaning.

500 AD: Ben Wa Balls

Like barbells for the vagina/anus, this Chinese invention helps to strengthen internal muscles, though they certainly do tickle. Uh … so we’ve read.

1200 AD: Cock Rings

One of those, “would have liked to been there when this conversation happened” inventions, the ancient Chinese made cock rings from goat eyelids, eyelashes still attached.

1869: Steam-Powered Vibrator

This early vibrator known as the Manipulator was used to “cure” female “hysteria.”

1920: Latex

Conservation of Agony: Latex replaced the painful sounding cement-dipped rubber style of condoms … which in turn gave way to more pain in BDSM play.

2002: Harry Potter Vibrating Broom

The Harry Potter series only gets so much better when you pretend every mention of the Nimbus 2000 is actually a reference to a magically-powered vibrator.

Present: The Internet

www.gettingoffiswaytooeasynow.com