Everything you always wanted to know about the history of sex toys…but were afraid to ask.
26,000 BC: World’s first dildo
This 8-inch long stone beauty was discovered in a German cave and was thought to be used as both a sexual aide, and to knap flints. Crafty!
350 BC: Olive Oil Lube
Ancient Greeks used olive oil as a lubricant to ease the thrust of their wooden dildos. “Extra Virgin” has taken on a terrible new meaning.
500 AD: Ben Wa Balls
Like barbells for the vagina/anus, this Chinese invention helps to strengthen internal muscles, though they certainly do tickle. Uh … so we’ve read.
1200 AD: Cock Rings
One of those, “would have liked to been there when this conversation happened” inventions, the ancient Chinese made cock rings from goat eyelids, eyelashes still attached.
1869: Steam-Powered Vibrator
This early vibrator known as the Manipulator was used to “cure” female “hysteria.”
Conservation of Agony: Latex replaced the painful sounding cement-dipped rubber style of condoms … which in turn gave way to more pain in BDSM play.
2002: Harry Potter Vibrating Broom
The Harry Potter series only gets so much better when you pretend every mention of the Nimbus 2000 is actually a reference to a magically-powered vibrator.
Present: The Internet