Bars

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: OF BOOZE AND BARF

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There are a handful of sounds that exist in the universe that only bartenders understand. Our ears are trained to pick these things up from just a few feet off to entire rooms away. Say, the tap-slap of a credit card being placed down after a meal, or the clunk-splash of a 16oz glass being knocked over and spilling. And, of course, the unmistakable sploosh-splat of vomit. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

FIVE DRINK MINIMUM: DIVE TO SWANK EDITION

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Be it Davis Square in Somerville, the wild shoddy badlands of Allston, and even the nooks found around Fenway Park, what you’re about to read is a story involving intoxicated buffoonery all conducted at your favorite (or not-so-favorite) local haunts, be it drinking in public outdoors (but just for a photo), allusions to shooting pornography, and even men in ruffled shirts becoming threatened by small children drinking out of coconut shells in close proximity to them. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: GRIDIRON TIMES

PACKERS

That said, not all in football’s orbit warms my heart. Some fans are assholes. I’m talking about you, guy at the bar who screams so loud at every play that I nearly piss my pants. I’ve dropped glassware and practically jumped out of my shoes multiple times due to your outbursts. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: ORDER UP

jamesonginger1

As you, my little droogies, have often shown, sometimes ordering isn’t as easy as you would think. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

I’M NOT YOUR BAR MOM

pizza

There reaches a point when you should just stop, and go home while you’re ahead. Newsflash: That girl is not going to call you. She wants pizza. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

KING’S COURT: THIS BAR APP IS HERE TO HELP YOU GET LAID. MAYBE.

DOC_BarKing(ImaraChew)

“At the end of the day the app was built with the idea in mind that different people would use it to assess a scene before even walking through the door, be it for the crowd, or potential dates,” says Shea. “We wanted to facilitate the in-bar dynamic, instead of recreate it.” Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

LAST CALL WITH BAR HAVOC

go home

Last call means 15 minutes. If you order seven Jagerbombs and 15 beers and learn you can’t consume all that in 15 minutes, that’s your problem. It doesn’t mean you stay past 2am. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: THEY’RE HERE…

college

As the lights finally came up at 2am, the drunk mob slithered out all at once, girls stumbling in their heels, clinging to one another for giggling support as guys high-fived behind them. I was sticky as molasses and gasping for breath. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC’S BACK TO SCHOOL BAR COMMANDMENTS

moses

Sure, summers are crazy here, but there is nothing like the last week of August and the first few weeks of September. With their fake ID’s in hand and a glint in their eye, these children will do anything to get past the bouncers to consume as many Jager-bombs as possible. Continue reading

Food and Drinks Opinion 

BAR HAVOC: SURVIVING THE FALL

fireball

With the windows open, the cool, almost autumn breeze flows in. I’ve been bringing a light jacket out with me at night for those cool evenings when the heat produced from a slug of Fireball Whisky isn’t enough. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: STAGE 5 CLINGER

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The girl, confused and in a bind, told me: “He never came back. I waited and waited, and I even had him paged to come back to the front of the store, but he never came back. What if he thinks I was kidnapped?” Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: TINDER LOVE

tinder

We met at a bar (where it took three shots of Fireball Whiskey to calm me down before he even arrived.) He walked in and I wanted to laugh. He was so much shorter than I imagined, but still, really cute. We got along well and I loved that he didn’t know anything about me. I wasn’t Mike’s ex, or Dave’s ex, or a wrestler, or a bartender. Just a stranger. Continue reading