Bartending

Food and Drinks 

BEING SNOTTY

amateur

The trio took their shots, and the intoxicated gentleman in the middle apparently found it to be a struggle. He coughed and twitched. And then I saw it. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: WHINE AND WINE

bathroom

For drunks, Thanksgiving can happen anytime. Even in a dirty bathroom. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: LOVELY EVENING

shot glasses

The tipsy ones think they can’t possibly have had six beers. Because every time they go out they like, totally can only “stomach five, at the most.” Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: THE MEDICINE

winter

With winter right around the corner, I thought I, your friendly neighborhood bartender. would share three solid tips on how to get through the next four miserable months. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: OF BOOZE AND BARF

hangover_600

There are a handful of sounds that exist in the universe that only bartenders understand. Our ears are trained to pick these things up from just a few feet off to entire rooms away. Say, the tap-slap of a credit card being placed down after a meal, or the clunk-splash of a 16oz glass being knocked over and spilling. And, of course, the unmistakable sploosh-splat of vomit. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: GRIDIRON TIMES

PACKERS

That said, not all in football’s orbit warms my heart. Some fans are assholes. I’m talking about you, guy at the bar who screams so loud at every play that I nearly piss my pants. I’ve dropped glassware and practically jumped out of my shoes multiple times due to your outbursts. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: ORDER UP

jamesonginger1

As you, my little droogies, have often shown, sometimes ordering isn’t as easy as you would think. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

I’M NOT YOUR BAR MOM

pizza

There reaches a point when you should just stop, and go home while you’re ahead. Newsflash: That girl is not going to call you. She wants pizza. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: BAR-THERAPY

frued

When you work at a small bar like mine, as a professional occupation, bartending becomes something much more, something akin to barpsychotherapy. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

LAST CALL WITH BAR HAVOC

go home

Last call means 15 minutes. If you order seven Jagerbombs and 15 beers and learn you can’t consume all that in 15 minutes, that’s your problem. It doesn’t mean you stay past 2am. Continue reading

Food and Drinks 

BAR HAVOC: THEY’RE HERE…

college

As the lights finally came up at 2am, the drunk mob slithered out all at once, girls stumbling in their heels, clinging to one another for giggling support as guys high-fived behind them. I was sticky as molasses and gasping for breath. Continue reading