Ken and Ariel

Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: WHY YOU NEVER BANG YOUR BEST FRIEND’S SISTER

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It’s never okay to bang your best friend’s sister. Unless, of course, he’s already banged yours. Continue reading

Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: MY GIRLFRIEND CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

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Because laughter really is the last thing you want to hear coming out of the woman you’re having sex with. Second only, perhaps, to vomit. Or, “By the way, my name’s Robert.” Continue reading

Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: 10 WAYS TO MAKE JULY 4TH EVEN SEXIER

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6. Bring the figurative fireworks into the bedroom, but not the literal ones. Sex and highly explosive miniature rocket launchers within genital range usually do not mix. Continue reading

LULZ Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: MY GIRLFRIEND’S HOT FRIEND

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She thinks that every time you have sex, you’ll be imagining the best friend, and not her, dangling from the trapeze you’ve conveniently installed above your bed. Continue reading

Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE

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Assuming this guy is of a similar age to you (and not one of those forty-something grad students who wants to chat you up about the new Vampire Weekend CD while fumbling with a chloroform-soaked rag), then he probably thinks about screwing 23 hours a day, with the remaining hour dedicated to daydreams about killer robots, football, and getting a blowjob in a spaceship. Continue reading

LULZ Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN

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Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your a$$ in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. Continue reading

LULZ Sex 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ADDICTED TO (SELF) LOVE

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If God didn’t want us to wank, he would have given us flippers instead of hands that conveniently reach our junk. Why the f-ck do you think Shamu is so goddam miserable? Continue reading