She thinks that every time you have sex, you’ll be imagining the best friend, and not her, dangling from the trapeze you’ve conveniently installed above your bed. Continue reading
Ken and Ariel
Lust
SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
Assuming this guy is of a similar age to you (and not one of those forty-something grad students who wants to chat you up about the new Vampire Weekend CD while fumbling with a chloroform-soaked rag), then he probably thinks about screwing 23 hours a day, with the remaining hour dedicated to daydreams about killer robots, football, and getting a blowjob in a spaceship. Continue reading
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Tags: Anne Hathaway, blowjob, booty call, Boston Dating, college sex, dating, drinkee-drink, genie, hooking up, Ken and Ariel, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, spaceship, three wishes, Vampire Weekend
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN
Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your a$$ in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. Continue reading
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Tags: atomic wedgie, ball gag, Batman, bondage, Boston Dating, boyfriend, bring out the gimp, Co-stan-za, dating advice, girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, Ken and Ariel, novice, Pulp Fiction, relationship advice, Seinfeld, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, Ted Bundy, whips and chains
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ADDICTED TO (SELF) LOVE
If God didn’t want us to wank, he would have given us flippers instead of hands that conveniently reach our junk. Why the f-ck do you think Shamu is so goddam miserable? Continue reading
Laugh Lust
SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: DINNER TODAY, PLASTIC SURGERY TOMORROW
Also, call me old fashioned, but what kind of a guy asks a girl to pony up for dinner then complains when she won’t sit on his face? Continue reading
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: THE TEN PEOPLE WE WILL ALWAYS WANT TO SLEEP WITH
This week, we figured we’d take a moment to answer a question we get a lot. Namely, “Ken and Ariel, what’s your ‘type’”? Continue reading
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Tags: Blogging, blow me, Boston Dating, boyfriend, Charlie Sheen, Chelsea, dating, doctor who, Gabby Reece, girlfriend, hey ladies, Ken and Ariel, leaving Las Vegas, Nicholas Cage, Penis, relationships, relationshop advice, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, sleep with me, tall girls, Tardis, volleyball, what's your type
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING A$$
As I’ve always said, if a woman sits on my face and I can still hear the radio, then something ain’t right. Continue reading
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Tags: ass, boob job, Boston, boyfriend, Bridesmaids, colon health yes!, Colonel Sanders, dating, Diet, English, girlfriend, juicing, Ken and Ariel, KFC, Mass General, Melissa McCarthy, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, sexy KFC
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: SHE’S PRETTY, FUNNY, GIVES LOUSY HEAD
Dear Ken and Ariel: My girlfriend is awesome in every sense of the word. She’s funny, pretty, kind and considerate and gets along with my parents. My only complaint is that she gives a really lame blowjob. I mean the worst I’ve ever had. Any suggestions for how to fix this? Continue reading
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Tags: advice, blowjobs, Catwoman, dating, dirty talk, experimentation, ice cream, Jason Statham, Ken and Ariel, oral, sex, Sex Advice from English Majors
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE
Ken and Ariel are unemployed bloggers with degrees in English Lit. Naturally, they dispense sex and relationship advice. Continue reading
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