What’s cooler than being cool? According to Coors Light: “Super Cold.” For when “cold” just isn’t cold enough. Continue reading
Manerisms
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Tags: Beer, Colorado, Coors, Ice Cube, manerism, Manerisms, NEWS FLASH, rain dance, Schueler, Silver Bullet
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MANERISMS #6: SWEET, SWEET BROETRY
I’ve been an active bromantic for almost four years now. I never thought it could happen to me, then all of a sudden it’s like…there you are hugging your significant brother goodbye after a night of Call of Duty and Miller High Life, and it’s a completely non-awkward hug. It’s an embrace. A brobrace. Continue reading
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MANERISMS #82: ONCE YOU GO GRAY, THAT’S HOW YOU’LL STAY, OLDTIMER.
Sometimes I wish I could have a permanent light source hover over my head constantly, because in certain lighting, my gray hair looks blonde.
Then I remember it’s just gray. Continue reading
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Tags: a. coop, GEORGE CLOONEY, gray hair, jack handy, manerism, Manerisms, matt leblanc, pokemon, richard gere, The Beatles
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MANERISMS #8: CHARLIE SHEEN WANTS TO KNOW – WHAT KIND OF GROCERY SHOPPER ARE YOU?
Here at MANERISMS, we devised a personality test for you to take so you can pinpoint your grocery shopper persona. Maybe you have a penchant for pilfering pickles or a habit of hogging hot sauce. Whatever weird grocery store fetish you’ve developed, MANERISMS is here to help sort it out. Continue reading
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Tags: Charlie Sheen, grocery, manerism, Manerisms, personality test, pokemon, ruffles, shiver me timbers, Tab, winning
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MANERISMS #15: CREDIT WHERE CREDIT’S NOT REALLY DUE, BUT STILL APPRECIATED
Your typical male apartment looks something like this: empty beer bottle on the kitchen table, XBOX controller next to the toilet, half-full soda cans on the window sill (he’s an optimist), empty pizza boxes thoughtlessly crammed in the trash can, Cheez-It crumbs on the nightstand and week-old pants, shirts and socks piled in the corner of the bathroom. Continue reading
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MANERISMS #33: MY BRIEF STINT IN BRIEFS, MY TRANSITION TO BOXERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN
For guys, undies open the door to our most important rite of passage until puberty: the switch from briefs to boxers. If marijuana is widely considered a gateway drug, then long johns are a gateway garment. They’re our female equivalent to training bras. Continue reading
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Tags: Alpha Male, bombastic, edible underoos, innovation, Jersey Shore, manerism, Manerisms, rite of passage, Snooki, Supermodels, underwear
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MANERISMS #2: THE BALLAD OF THE FRIEND WHOSE BEST FRIEND’S GIRLFRIEND SUCKS
Now gather ‘round, ye gents and ladies
And listen to a tale
Of the best friend’s girlfriend who sucketh
And verily she doth fail Continue reading
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Tags: bbst, bromance, Girlfriends, Hooters, manerism, Manerisms, medusa, Shakespeare, Smaug, the hobbit
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MANERISMS #12: YOU SCRATCH MY BACK, I’LL SCRATCH MINE A SECOND TIME BECAUSE YOU DID A POOR JOB JUST THEN
When it comes to male scratching, there’s a social code guys adhere to that girls completely fail to understand: the simple fact is that men can scratch themselves wherever, whenever, however, and it’s never a bother to anyone with a Y chromosome. Continue reading
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Tags: bed bath and beyond, chromosomes, fun things, jonah hill, manerism, Manerisms, pride, scratching, superbad, yelp.com
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MANERISMS #49: ‘MANSCAPING.’ TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER OR MORE DISTURBING
Ladies: if your first serious boyfriend was at least 18 when you started dating, and he had a completely smooth chest because he shaved it, guess what? You’ve been spoiled. Continue reading
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Tags: 16 and Pregnant, 40-year Old Virgin, chest hair, Jack Nicholson, manerism, Manerisms, manscaping, silverback gorilla, The Shining, tweezing
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MANERISMS #99: PERSONAL ASSESSMENT ISN’T JUST FOR WOMEN ANY MORE
Here’s the story, morning glory: employers want to know they aren’t hiring some crackpot weirdo with a foot fetish and a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, so they dole out assessment tests like lollipops to fat kids and actually expect you to give serious answers. Continue reading
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Tags: algebra, assessment, basement, job search, manerism, Manerisms, pokemon, Rex Ryan Foot Fetish, Ty Cobb, waste of time
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MANERISMS #7: IT’S OKAY TO BE SCARED AS LONG AS YOU NEVER, EVER SHOW IT
Basement tidying starts innocently enough. You reach for the basement doorknob with your shaking, sweaty hand, deciding whether to pull it open quickly or bit-by-bit. If you open it quickly, the gnashing, child eating monster down there can lunge at you immediately and kill you. But if you open it slowly, the monster has to break through the door before he can lunge at you and kill you. “Slow’s the way to go.” That was my mantra, anyway. Continue reading
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MANERISMS #50: UNREQUITED LOVE STILL COUNTS AS A TYPE OF LOVE
I received a message in my Facebook inbox the other day from a woman named Vania Stevens. I was immediately blown away by her poetic phrasing, vast vocabulary and mastery over the English language, and, eager to begin our passionate relationship, began drafting a love letter in response. Continue reading
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Tags: baseball, Facebook, manerism, Manerisms, on the lam, relationships, Satchel Paige, spam, unrequited love, Vania Stevens
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