relationship advice

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: DATING THE (MUCH) OLDER GUY

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But I jest, because love knows no boundaries. Unless, like my late Uncle Phil, you decide to mate with an elk and die in a horrible antler-up-the-colon accident. Continue reading

Laugh Think 

YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS: CONNECTIVITY ISSUES

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While I’ve never personally dabbled in online romance, my sense is that it’s sometimes ugly, generally creep-filled, and often embarrassing … so you know, exactly the same as dating in the “real” world. Continue reading

Laugh Think 

YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS: A BAD EX-AMPLE

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I’d prefer most people think of “ex” as both a descriptive term and a directive, and cross out the names of people they’ve outgrown romantically, but some folks just don’t listen… Continue reading

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN

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Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your a$$ in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. Continue reading

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ARE WE SCREWING OR MAKING LOVE?

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If I ask a woman to sit on my face while wearing pajama jeans for a half-hour while I stroke myself, you can rest assured that before night’s end, we’ll be f—ing. On the other hand, if I show up at her apartment wearing ass-less chaps and a top hat and monocle, we’ll be making love. Continue reading

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: 10 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM DATING IN 2012

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4. When online dating, tell who you ARE, not who you want to be. Sure, I’d love to be Kate Upton with the gymnastic verve of Gabby Douglas and the credit score of Suze Orman. Unfortunately, I’m a broke blogger with zero flexibility who’s more likely to be mistaken for Keith Urban. Continue reading

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: WHEN HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT HIS EX

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But there are two things we never forget: that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father and that woman who did that thing to our penises that was just absolutely f-cking awesome. Continue reading

Lust 

SAVAGE LOVE: INSTALLING PLUG-INS

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Don’t waste your time, BONER. Sometimes a soft dick is just a soft dick. Continue reading

Laugh Lust 

SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HOW TO KEEP THE “X” IN SEX

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Then there’s certainly some options for spicing it up, only a few of which involve a harness, two latex bodysuits, and waking up to find a pine cone lodged in your colon. Continue reading