But I jest, because love knows no boundaries. Unless, like my late Uncle Phil, you decide to mate with an elk and die in a horrible antler-up-the-colon accident. Continue reading
relationship advice
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YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS: CONNECTIVITY ISSUES
While I’ve never personally dabbled in online romance, my sense is that it’s sometimes ugly, generally creep-filled, and often embarrassing … so you know, exactly the same as dating in the “real” world. Continue reading
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YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS: OUT WITH THE NEW?
Because one thing is certain: your friend is not going to thank you for telling her that the new BF has a wandering eye. Continue reading
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YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS: A BAD EX-AMPLE
I’d prefer most people think of “ex” as both a descriptive term and a directive, and cross out the names of people they’ve outgrown romantically, but some folks just don’t listen… Continue reading
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Tags: advice, advice column, crazy ex, Jilly, Jilly Gagnon, lies, new boyfriend, relationship advice, when is it okay to lie, white lies, You've Got Problems
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN
Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your a$$ in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. Continue reading
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Tags: atomic wedgie, ball gag, Batman, bondage, Boston Dating, boyfriend, bring out the gimp, Co-stan-za, dating advice, girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, Ken and Ariel, novice, Pulp Fiction, relationship advice, Seinfeld, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, Ted Bundy, whips and chains
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ARE WE SCREWING OR MAKING LOVE?
If I ask a woman to sit on my face while wearing pajama jeans for a half-hour while I stroke myself, you can rest assured that before night’s end, we’ll be f—ing. On the other hand, if I show up at her apartment wearing ass-less chaps and a top hat and monocle, we’ll be making love. Continue reading
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Tags: Abraham Lincoln, advice, anal, Boston Dating, dating, Dig, DigBoston, Edde Murphy, Fucking, hookers, Jimmy Snuka, Ken & Ariel, love, Making Love, making love or fucking, Nirvana, Orgasm, raw, relationship advice, relationships, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: ADDICTED TO HER VIBRATOR
KEN and ARIEL are unemployed bloggers with degrees in English Lit. Naturally, they dispense sex and relationship advice. Continue reading
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Tags: Boston Dating, dating advice, Gilligan's Island, Hitachi Magic Wand, how'd you hurt your wrist?, Is Sonsie Vibrator-friendly?, love robot, Masturbation, relationship advice, Robots, sex, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors, Sex in the City, Sonsie, Terminator, Three's Company, vibrator
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: DATING THE GUY WHO CRIES
My first question would be, is he somehow in pain? Are you unknowingly sitting on his balls (in a not-so-good way)? Continue reading
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Tags: blowjob, Boston Dating, boyfriend, crying, dating advice, dealbreakers, Flight of the Conchords, Fucking, Full House, Full Metal Jacket, girlfriend, hookers, James VanDerBeek, kenandariel.com, Life Savers, me so horny, relationship advice, Robin Williams, Sex Advice, Sex Advice from English Majors
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: 10 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM DATING IN 2012
4. When online dating, tell who you ARE, not who you want to be. Sure, I’d love to be Kate Upton with the gymnastic verve of Gabby Douglas and the credit score of Suze Orman. Unfortunately, I’m a broke blogger with zero flexibility who’s more likely to be mistaken for Keith Urban. Continue reading
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: WHEN HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT HIS EX
But there are two things we never forget: that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father and that woman who did that thing to our penises that was just absolutely f-cking awesome. Continue reading
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Tags: american idol, boyfriend, Darth Vader, dating, dating advice, Don't Stop Believin', drunk, ex, girlfriend, ham, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Journey, Lord of the Rings, Ménage à Trois, relationship advice, relationships, Ryan Seacrest, sex, Sex Advice, star wars, Steve Perry, the hobbit, threesome
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SAVAGE LOVE: INSTALLING PLUG-INS
Don’t waste your time, BONER. Sometimes a soft dick is just a soft dick. Continue reading
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Tags: advice, Bisexual, Boner, butt plugs, Dan Savage, gay, Issue 14.49, relationship advice, Savage Love, sex, Sexual Orientation
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SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS: HOW TO KEEP THE “X” IN SEX
Then there’s certainly some options for spicing it up, only a few of which involve a harness, two latex bodysuits, and waking up to find a pine cone lodged in your colon. Continue reading
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Tags: boyfriend, dating, Gilligan's Island, Ginger, girlfriend, grad school, handjob, hooker, Law & Order, pine cone, relationship advice, Robots, scary-ass clown, screenplay, sex, student
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