I hate Kenmore Square. Not because the physical place sucks, or anything like that. No, I hate Kenmore Square because of the vortex-like magnetism that exists—the anti-suckage. Just outside of Fenway’s shadow, and steeped in punk lore, Kenmore reminds me of my younger self, and who doesn’t want to hang around with their cool, less-lame doppelganger? I know I do! Or don’t …whatever.
Anyway, Eastern Standard rocks because of the burger, and the patio, and the elbow-to-elbow kick-ass-ness, and the burger. And the drinks. Blah blah blah Jackson Cannon blah blah blah … we all know what’s up. So, Bob McCoy, take us away…
DRINK I (BARTENDER’S CHOICE):
WHISKEY SMASH ($10)
The first drink of the night is the bartender’s choice and Bob doesn’t disappoint. May I introduce Bob; super chill bartender and all around killer master mixologist. Without missing a beat (“What did you want? I don’t understand? You want me to pick your drink? Do you have something in mind? I need something to work with …”) Bob moves right in, “Whiskey Smash it is.” A little Bourbon-Weller Special Reserve, lemon, muddled mint, simple syrup…Uh, yeah!
DRINK 2 (BARTENDER’S MOM’S CHOICE):
SAVER d’ELEGANCE ($12)
Bob picks the second drink with his Mom in mind and it doesn’t disappoint. This weird other-worldly concoction is pleasantly passive and, well, good. My partner in crime, Chris Rucker (yeah, the Chris Rucker …) and I both agree that it’s kind of froo-froo but solid. And the chicks are checking us out! Oh wait, they’re checking out the drink… any way, it’s a nice change and a perfect bridge to our next selection …
DRINK 3 (DRINK THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR CHILDHOOD):
…a fucking Bud. Yup. That’s right. A bottle of Budweiser, and let me tell you, this mix of rice and water is smooth, appropriately reminding both of us of our youth. It was Chris’s pick, but I have to take credit for it too, since I let him order it. It takes balls to do that in a place like this … or so I thought. As soon as that bottle hit the bar, I saw two hands go up and the faint sounds of “I’ll have one of those.”
DRINK 4 (YOUR MOM’S CHOICE):
CUBA LIBRE ($10)
I think all of us got the same reaction when we called our Moms: “What??! Why are you drinking five drinks at once? What do you mean there’s a minimum? Do you have a sweater on, it’s cold outside!” Yet, there’s something comforting in that exchange—after all, we were calling our Moms, and that’s always a good thing. The Cuba Libre was also a good thing; a nice evocative mix of rum, lime, mint and bubbles. Those were Bob’s words but I agree.
DRINK 5 (YOUR CHOICE):
CORPSE REVIVER ($10)
I’m not sure you can end a night properly at ES. It always seems like you haven’t tried everything you intended to and the short bucket list you leave behind is somehow going to disappear. So Bob sent us off with a steely night cap to make us forget about all the love we were leaving behind. A blend of Fernet, Cognac and Crème dementhe, this little tower of power socked us square in the jaw. Thanks Bob. Right backatcha!
528 COMMONWEALTH AVE.
Read some more 5 Drinks … if you dare.