If you’ve been waiting for the Improper Bostonian to chime in with their coverage of the Occupy Movement, the wait is over. Take it away, Ezra Dyer:

As I write this, the Occupy Wall Street movement is still camped out in now-famous Zuccotti Park. It’s easy to see why those people are so committed. Since they set up shop, everything’s different. I have a source in New York who confides that Occupy Wall Street has completely changed the behavior of bankers, in that they no longer eat lunch at Zuccotti Park, even when it’s really nice out. Power to the people!

I’m just kidding. I have no source on Wall Street.

Wait what?

The point to the mighty pen-sword of Dyer’s hilariously-titled “Paying for Sachs” column is that … one sec … that … he goes to the Alley. No wait, it is … that … he bought some shares of Goldman Sachs and … it was awesome … and you should … wait … buy your coffee and enjoy it. No. It’s definitely that he likes steak. Ezra Dyer likes rib eye steak. There. Good stuff. Frameable, really.

This is not the first time that Dyer has used something not funny to be not funny.

This summer, in a column titled “In the Neighborhood: Reflections on New Southie” he proceeded to tell us how Southie, with its “toothless, incoherently drunk local” folk and people “puking on the sidewalk at 2pm” was better off with gentrification. He was also really angry, because this happened right after he moved. He knew all this because he is still friends with the owner of Shag and he gets “a time-lapse view of Southie development because I still go to Shag for haircuts.”

Hank Investigates it ain’t.

But wait there’s more.

This is the Luxury issue, apparently, so Improper Bostonian sent Melissa Herrick down to the Occupy Boston encampment to. Wait for it. “Ask the Occupy Boston Protesters: What’s your idea of Luxury?”

We are not making this up:

“I would say, uh, clean clothes.”

“Probably the Maserati I saw on Boylston Street the other day.”

“I don’t have any ideas of what luxury would be ‘cause I’ve never really lived it.”

“Wind chimes.”

Despite all this making fun of the poor and the needy thing, the true Occupy gets in a word: “Sitting out here in the rain, soaking wet, because I’m sticking up for what I believe in.”

Opposite this hilarious column?

A picture of Nick Varano in his Strega restaurant advertisement, naturally.

THEN THERE’S STUFF. Yes, there is still Stuff Magazine. It’s their bi-weekly monthly semi-annual annual Beauty Awards issue this bi-week, and in case you couldn’t tell they’ve done you the service of putting a naked lady on their cover with a sash that says “Awards.” But not because of that, as Editor-ial Director Scott Kearnan explains in his “Letter from the Editor”-ial Director.

“I hope our cover got your attention. But I hope it did so for the right reasons,” he says.

Really he does.

Then there’s this:

Look, I’m well aware of the fact that putting an attractive, (nearly) nude woman on the cover of a magazine tends to widen eyes. But there are multiple ways to read that image. (Bear with me here.) Some people will leer at it, fantasizing that our photo shoot was followed by a giggly pillow fight among models, or some similar scenario that exists only in late-night Skin-A-Max movies. Others might write strongly worded letters threatening to revoke my feminist card. (Sorry, it’s staying in my wallet, right next to AAA.) But I hope some of you will see the spirit behind it: in an issue that celebrates the people, places, and products that get us groomed, glam, and gussied up, it seemed appropriate to remind everyone that beauty exists even without fanfare or high-fashion trappings. Take away the fussy trussing, and as long as you’re comfortable in your own skin—as our cover model clearly is—you’re beautiful, Boston. Everything else is just frosting on the cake. (Responsible Social Message, over and out.)

Point is that there are multiple ways to read an image of a naked woman with the word “awards” written across her body.

No, seriously though the point of the issue is that Stephen and Bradley Mindich would like to thank William George of James Joseph Salon for advertising in the magazine. Frame it.

Click here for real #OccupyBoston coverage.