NEWS BYTE: ROTTEN TOMATOES SUSPENDS COMMENTS ON ‘THE DARK KNIGHT RISES’

Anybody want to venture a guess as to how many people are going to see “The Dark Knight Rises” this weekend? Is “everybody in the whole country” considered a valid estimate? Considering that its predecessor, “The Dark Knight,” was one of the highest grossing films of all time, and changed the face of superhero movies forever, I can say that it’s an understatement.

According to the rules of the Internet, people will get angry if you don’t agree with them (I think it’s in the code somewhere), and they will start throwing things, ruining the fun for everybody. It’s like working in a daycare.

The movie review Bible known as Rotten Tomatoes has recently had to remove comments on the film’s page because of harsh, and inappropriate comments posted following some certified “rotten” reviews showed up on the site.

Matt Atchity, the editor-in-chief of Rotten Tomatoes, stated in an article on the website that “people have the right to express their disagreement with him (although if you haven’t seen the movie, your arguments may be on shaky ground). And we have the right to pull your comment down and ban you if we think you’re acting inappropriately.”

The site was originally just policing comments on negative reviews, but found that would be too much work. Considering that Rotten Tomatoes also allows anonymous comments, this shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Atchity also announced that Eric D. Snider, who runs ericdsnider.com, was banned from Rotten Tomatoes after posting a false review that only linked to his site. Since “The Dark Knight Rises” has been a breeding ground for fan-boy rage, the site had no choice but to disable comments, and ban users who spout hate speech.

“Don’t try and argue about your right to free speech,” he said. “This is a business, and we have the right to refuse service to anyone we feel like.”

Taking into account the vague interpretations of the First Amendment, the users do have the right to say whatever they want. However, what most people fail to realize is that you cannot send death threats to people. Ever. Especially if it’s for a movie that you most likely haven’t seen yet. So far, the only people who have seen “The Dark Knight Rises” have been critics and others who were lucky enough to attend. Everything else is mostly just opinion, but don’t tell the fan-boys that. Either way, the film is still “certified fresh.”

Rotten Tomatoes also announced that they will probably start moving to a Facebook-based commenting system, which they hope will cut back on inappropriate comments.

“So you’ll still be able to argue about a movie you haven’t seen, but people will know it was you,” said Atchity.

If the movie actually ends up getting more negative attention than the fans want, we might be hearing more outcries from the streets. Cars will be overturned, projection rooms will be set on fire, and the Internet will crash and burn. Why have you forsaken us Nolan??

In the words of Atchinty, “this is why we can’t have nice things.”

Although it is really pretty. And it’s Christopher Nolan. And it has Bane in it, and in Knightfall he actually cripples the Batman, so who knows what’s going to happen in the film. And it’s the motherf-cking Batman.

Hey Internet, shut up. Let me watch the movie.