I feel like I just woke up from a long sleep into a world where everything interesting happened weeks ago.
That’s probably what I get for going on “vacation.”
TOYS ‘R’ US UNVEILS THE NEW EXPENSIVE THING TO BUY FOR YOUR CHILDREN
I remember during my childhood when the greatest thing parents could buy was a Tickle Me Elmo, and all that stupid thing did was have the most terrifying seizure ever. Kids these days are so spoiled.
On Monday, Toys ‘R’ Us announced that it will begin selling its own tablet for kids in stores starting at the end of October. The seven-inch touchscreen tablet will include front and rear-facing cameras, 4GB of expandable memory, Wi-Fi access, an HDMI port, and other things such as games and programs that kids clearly need to pass the time before dinner. The tablet also boasts an impressive battery life at 10 hours of Internet use and 6-7 for video.
The tablet, called the Tabeo, is slated to go on sale for $149.99, which I guess does make it a good deal compared to other tablets. Most parents wouldn’t drop $600 on an iPad for their toddler… or would they?
AMAZON UNVEILS NEW KINDLES… SOME WITH LIGHTS! YES!
Last week, Amazon held a press event that revealed the new line of Kindle e-readers and tablets, specifically introducing low-end and high-end tablets that may actually be able to compete in the tablet market.
Yes this is the second tablet story this week. No, I did not plan for that to happen.
On the low-end is the Kindle Paperwhite, an e-reader which now includes a back light. Now you can read in the dark. It’s like the future or something! There is also the new Kindle Fire, which is getting a size boost, but will cost about $40 less than the older version. These two options will make you tech savvy without breaking the bank.
However, if you have that money to spend—or you don’t, we won’t judge—you can pick up the new Kindle Fire HD, an upgraded tablet which comes in both 4G and Wi-Fi only models. The 4G version starts at $499 and features a 1280x800 HD display, and an updated Amazon OS.
The new tablets will even come with the option to remove homescreen ads that were originally mandatory. It’s a good thing that I have that extra $15 to spare just to remove useless ads. What a top-notch business model, Amazon.
GOOGLE GLASSES WORK THE RUNWAY FOR SOME REASON
Google Glasses is the tech that is going to bring us into the Jetsons future that we have been waiting for. We will all have the ability to be wirelessly connected in a dystopia that has us watching porn on the T. Google also wants to make sure that we all look like total dorks while doing it, so they appeared at Diane Von Furstenberg’s runway show at New York Fashion Week.
The designer paired with Google co-founder Sergey Brin to bring the glasses to the stage, in a dysfunctional roommate arrangement of fashion and technology (which usually aren’t very mutually exclusive). Although, after hearing about the glasses, I don’t think anybody paid attention to the clothes.
VIDEO GAMES ARE GOOD FOR PAIN TOLERANCE
The war between video games, parents, and moralists has been going on for decades, and as a gamer myself, I find it all to be rather pointless. There is no way to really prove that violent video games increase the tendency for violence in children, and trying to get certain games banned is superfluous, unless they actually should be banned. That’s a whole other story. Video games might not be the classiest form of entertainment, but there are still benefits.
That is why when I hear new studies such as one released Friday by Keele University, which emphasizes the positive effect of video games, I jump for joy a little.
Researchers found that certain violent video games could lead to more pain tolerance. The study had 40 participants playing video games, all while putting one of their hands in ice cold water. It was found that participants playing violent games kept their hands in the water on average 65 percent longer than those that had been playing a relaxing golf game.
So maybe the next time somebody gets punched during a rather intense game of Halo he’ll be able to keep playing rather than going to a hospital.
You wouldn’t want to interrupt a campaign. Shit is important.