DREAM COME TRUE: MAGIC KINGDOM, THE FILM

Over the weekend I found out that my pinnacle of awesomeability dream had come true. No, not that pesky dream where I start rakin’ in two mil for sitting on my futon and watching Boy Meets World reruns. You so silly.

That other dream: Magic Kingdom, the movie!

Apparently talk of the film starting circulating the interwebs around 2010, although details of the plot are still few and generalized. What we do know is that Jon Favreau (actor/ director of Iron Man 1 and 2, Elf) will be directing the movie, which will be some sort of fairy love child of Fox’s Night at the Museum franchise and the Magic Kingdom theme park itself, specifically the one in Disneyland Cali. Favreau announced in December 2010 that he wouldn’t be directing the third Iron Man installment, which is set to be released next May, so he could concentrate on the Magic Kingdom movie. That’s right Favreau. Screw RD Jr.

Epcot: The Movie-- next in line?

“[The story for Magic Kingdom] is essentially a family caught in Disneyland, bringing all of the attractions to life. I really want to plumb the depths of the history of the park because it’s a place I love to go a few times a year,” Favreau said of the film, according to ScreenRant.com.

“Their big thing now, if you look, they have Guillermo del Toro making Haunted Mansion, David Fincher doing 20,000 Leagues and you see what they have done with Pirates [of the Caribbean]. They’re looking to bring interesting filmmakers with interesting takes to attack their historical material and bring new life to it,” ScreenRant also reported.

Part of the Disney success lies in the fact that the ever-popular theme parks promote the ever-popular movies, and vice versa. Attractions such as the Haunted Mansion and the Jungle Cruise were turned into movies ages ago (Haunted Mansion first came out starring Eddie Murphy in 2003, but a future, likely way-better reboot written/produced by Guillermo del Toro was announced at 2010 Comic-Con), and after the Pirates of the Caribbean ride inspired the blockbuster hit(s), Disney Imagineers altered the ride by adding an animatronic Johnny Depp/ Captain Jack Sparrow.

These Bar/Bat Mitzavah-aged commenters are infuriated with the idea of the Magic Kingdom film, claiming Disney is not giving the proper cred to Kingdom Keepers. Weird, because Disney fucking owns the franchise, you prepubescent morons. Actually, perhaps they could have gotten Pearson in on the film, I guess. I also guess it’s probably not the best show of character to hate on pre-teens, but whatever they can hardly read anyway. Or write: “Thank u all the hater pp that said hatefull things r dum disney owns keeper!”

Can’t believe I just thought that much about a preteen fantasy novel franchise. But hey, I spend a shit-ton more time thinking about walking down Main Street USA or through the entrance of Tomorrowland, so it’s not all that shocking. Try to forget the last few paragraphs, since comparing the eventual Magic Kingdom movie to this Kingdom Keepers series makes getting goosebumps for the film way more lame.

Either way, I’m pumped for the day Magic Kingdom or Magic Kingdom Keepers or Night at the Kingdom or whatever it will be titled comes out. You will most certainly find me and whichever fellow Disney freak accompanies, front row, Minnie-getting-married ears on head. I will be getting enchantingly drunk on a combo of wine, vodka, beer, and saki, to honor the true variety that is the Epcot-represented countries, of course. Now I just have to work on stealing back that Mickey Mouse souvenir stuffed animal I gave a 5-year-old family friend…Maybe I can curl my hair enough to be mistaken for that Scottish chick from Brave.

If you had the chance to change your fate, would ye?