”1 -- 2 -- Furby’s coming for you, 3 -- 4 -- Better lock your door…”
Do you know what I remember about the Furby of the past? That little monster/hamster thing adding to the fear of the unknown darkness that is a child’s bedroom at night; that devil on the shelf going off with a “wee-tah-kah-loo-loo” in the middle of the night, scaring the bejesus out of my Minnie-Mouse pajama pants until I trapped him in the closet, safely out of sight, and it shut the hell up. No, I will not tell you a joke, it is 10pm and way past bedtime. Until roughly fifteen minutes later, when it “u-nye-way-loh-nee-way“ed at me, tauntingly. (Translation: Go to sleep now…The irony.) Way to ruin Hanukkah, you assclown.
No on/off switch my 9-year-old ass.
The Furby craze started during the holiday season of 1998. Apparently, they made some sort of small revival in 2005, but it was not until this dreaded summer of 2012 when Hasbro announced the fall release of an updated, more animated furry demon (who apparently likes dancing to 80s synth-pop).
Check out all the creepiness that is the revengeful Fur-Bitch below:
P.S. YouTube users totally seem to have affirmative opinions on the matter: