In last week’s AFI Top 100 post (that’s American Film Institute in case you watch only shitty movies like I do and not high class stuff), Kristofer Jensen watched iconic ’80s flick E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial. Much like Mr. Jensen, I’m not a fan of that movie. Raccoons eat E.T.’s decaying body- that is freaky shit to see as a toddler. Piggy-backing on the success of an alien-come-to-earth that eats candy, the movie Mac and Me was made and it is truly horrible. But in the best way possible.
From AFI Top 100 to IMDB’s Bottom 100 … I present Mac and Me.
A repulsive family of aliens, which I’ll describe as a mix between Sea Monkeys and nudists, are sucked off the face of their planet by NASA and escape. The littlest creeper, known as Mac, gets lost and hops into a van of some family who of course has no dad, a mom who got a promotion and relocation from Sears (not corporate, just the store), and are moving somewhere to start a new life from that big Sears promotion. The new home is right by a large hill, leading to a cliff above a river, and you’d think mom would’ve asked the realtor to not pick a house with a hill since, oh yeah, her son is in a wheelchair. Eric and his chair end up whirling down a mountain, breaks blow out, and he ends up crashing into the water in the biggest brings-you-to-tears laugh ever. Lucky for Eric, the new little alien pal he made in his bedroom saves the day and then continues to be an annoying prick who causes a ruckus.
And that is just the beginning of the absurdity of this movie.
I truly have no idea where to start in discussing this movie. As a kid, this movie terrified me. I remember my brother had the VHS and I would hide the box because I could not stand the sight of Mac. Mac and Me was made in partnership with McDonald’s, but you’ll know that based of the five-minute McDonald’s dance party scene.
Because hocking Happy Meals wasn’t enough, Mac loves to eat Skittles, and the aliens can only consume Coca Cola. In terms of horrible movies ripping off the greats, Mac and Me is definitely the worst remake of E.T. ever. I didn’t even like E.T. that much, but there’s at least heart, a coherent story, and a cutish alien in drag. This movie instead gives us nude, googly eyed freak aliens sucking scum out of the earth and creating a wake of destruction in their path.
I once vowed I would never sit through this movie again, but now it’s pretty much the greatest unintentional comedy of all time. Mac and Me can be streamed on Netflix Instant and while I could endlessly list all the insane, fantastic moments that will having you peeing yourself in laughter or extreme confusion, I’m going to let YouTube make life easier.
A wheelchair-bound child flies off the side of a cliff:
Dressed as a teddy bear, Mac breakdances on a McDonald’s countertop while all the children break into a spontaneous choreographed dance:
Spoiler! Mac and his family get U.S. citizenship, pay homage to the Kennedys: