FIVE MUST-DOS

How is it possible that we are more than halfway through summer already?

Normally I’d follow that up with a whimsical rhetorical serenade of answers to that question, laced with boozy tales of chaos and anarchy as a seasoned industry vet. But there’s still summer to chase, and I’d rather just make a checklist of my favorite summer experiences and why, so I can make sure I’ve hit them all. Feel free to join me.

1. Get to the beach. Not Carson Beach (although that can be fun in a townie sorta way), but a REAL beach (read: Plum Island, Block Island, Narragansett, etc). Sun, sand and waves defeat hangovers every time. So does drinking more. Don’t judge.

2. Eat. Clam cakes, chowder, whole belly clam dinners and lobster rolls. Summertime eats are key for providing a great drinking base. This is huge.

3. Daytime patio drinking. Society says it’s okay to be wine-drunk before 2pm provided there’s a patio or somewhere outdoors. And by society I mean me.

4. Water parks. Just … water parks.

5. Summer romance. If you’re in love, enjoy it. If you’ve been recently thrown back into the pond like me, summer in Boston is the perfect excuse for dressing less, getting wild with a new flame, and saying things like, “Oh, was my shirt buttoned really low? … I had no idea.”

Related: Bar Havoc is now accepting summer boy toy applications, no height or weight requirement, must love Fireball Whisky.