Image by Kent Buckley

Some advice for any lawyers out there: If at all possible, avoid saying publicly that you think it’s perfectly OK for grown police officers to send pictures of their genitals to teenagers.

They don’t teach this sort of thing at public relations seminars. Or in law school. So we’re happy to offer free consulting in the event that Kenneth Anderson, legal representative for the Boston Police Patrolmen’s Association (BPPA), is reading DigBoston.

It may be too late. Last week, in addressing allegations made against Boston Police Department (BPD) officer Edwin Guzman, who is accused of sending ‘harmful’ pictures to a 16-year-old girl on Facebook, Anderson barked to Boston Herald reporter O’Ryan Johnson, “You can’t tell me someone her age has never seen a picture of a penis on the Internet.”

In addition to his role reminding parents in the community, however inadvertently, that they probably shouldn’t let their teens volunteer at car washes for charity, Anderson, according to the January/February 2015 issue of the union’s controversial newsletter, also conducts trainings for BPPA members. Among the topics on which the eloquent attorney guides the men and women who patrol our streets: the legal rights of members, due process, and “firearms discharges.”

Since the best shameless stories about unfettered police privilege always get sillier with each sentence, veteran reporter Johnson also broke some other details sure to keep us up at night: “Prior to being placed on [paid] leave,” he writes, “Guzman was awarded the department’s Medal of Honor.”

We can only imagine the size of the balls on these guys. We’d ask some underage girls around Boston, but they’ve probably been traumatized enough already.