DEAR READER,

Every time the pro-faux group Safe and Healthy Massachusetts attempts to mislead Bay State citizens it backfires. Voters know what reefer madness smells like, and no amount of bullshit covers it up.

The latest pony to drop a deuce on the truth is Walpole Police Chief John Carmichael. While attempting to paint white lies all over the masses, Chief Carmichael used cannabis edibles as a prop to scare our children. That in and of itself was reason enough to question the man’s integrity and ethics, but what quickly became obvious was the fact that the edibles in question were from Colorado. This small but important detail was quickly highlighted by none other than our esteemed reporter Mike Crawford who, in a series of tweets, outed the Chief for transporting the marijuana over state lines, a violation of federal law. Almost as quickly as he was called out, he responded with a series of puffed-out-chest posts proclaiming his right to break said laws. After a series of back and forth tweets with m
ultiple people, he began blocking everyone and eventually hid behind a rock and pled the Fifth. The damage was done, however; he could not have looked more idiotic or confused, and the Safe and Healthy Massachusetts lobby hobby was in tow the entire time.

In this week’s issue, Crawford expands on this exchange and further highlights the problematic relationship between this group and the truth. Honestly, though, I really hope they keep this up, because we’ll catch them on every single lie, and the polls will continue to reflect growing opposition to their Anslinger ways.

Jeff Lawrence, DigBoston Publisher + Editor

OH, CRUEL WORLD

Dear Mustachioed Yuppies,

I’ll start off with an admission: I am the urban asshole with the handlebar face ‘do and the skin-tight cutoff dick shorts who Americans just love to rag on (unless they’re trying to get our attention so we’ll serve them a cocktail). But while I found the onset of your sad ironic mustache phase eight years ago to be cute enough, at this point you’re no longer joking, whether you realize it or not. With your summer ‘stache, or that rat tail on your lip you grew for charity, you have become the hipster dick you once were mocking, only with less stylish jeans and an apparently insanely boring life. Fucking loser.