DIG MIX likes Thursdays. A day removed from the week’s issue hitting newsstands, everyone is sufficiently relaxed following the massive office party that always takes place the night before, a lurid all-night affair that begins with champagne served off Kim Kardashian’s ass and rapidly descends into a drunken night of accusations, recriminations and subsequent apologies and ends with everyone passed out in front of a TV showing “The McCarthys” on repeat. This provides DIG MIX with the optimal cover for strolling in the next morning unnoticed, the rest of the staff generally too hungover or busy destroying incriminating evidence to notice your humble Mixer.

This, however, only works if DIG MIX makes its usual Wednesday posting date; if not, as was the case yesterday, it only takes a few Turbo Shots before everyone realizes wises up to the Mixer’s grave error, at which point they angrily stomp into the meager corner cubicle and poke DIG MIX with a sharp stick, pull us out from under our desk, shove us into a chair and demand a new SoundCloud playlist of local music in five minutes before they “give us something to be sorry about.”

Still, there’s nothing to suggest that this week’s DIG MIX is a desperate CRY FOR HELP. Nope, nothing like that at all. Just tunes from minimalist electro-pop star Cult Fluorescent and The Western Den, who both grace this week’s Music section, and some badass cuts from new releases by Durkin, Guerrilla Toss, The Derevolutions and Seer Group. For the rest of our life, every time the Mixer feels a sharp stab to the ribs, we’ll think of these great bands.

But as our editors always say, at least we spared your eyes!