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We really hope you aren’t still sneaking around like a teenager and blazing (or vaping, dabbing, etc.) in secret. For in the age of legal cannabis, it is the prohibitionists who ought to be scared into silence, especially those hypocritical enough to hate on weed while drinking wine.
This is a lot easier said than done for some folks, especially around the holidays, and especially for those who come from conservative (read: willfully culturally ignorant) families. Nevertheless, you may be the only hope these people have to one day take the blinders off and experience the widening wonderful recreational world.
Here are our recommendations for how you can help kill the taboos around cannabis with the people you love, ranging from initiating basic conversation to outright proselytization.
Be an activist
We know, we know, a lot of you are turned off by deliberate activism or, heaven forbid, direct action. Or perhaps you’re sick of having to advocate for painfully obvious concepts, like that weed is not bad. After all, the stuff is legal (here at least), storefronts are looming, and even the likes of John Boehner are cashing in on the crop. But if not you, then who? Who else will seize upon your uncle’s corny stoner jokes? More importantly, who else will help your grandmother and uncle get the natural meds that they need? We’re not telling you to show up to Thanksgiving dinner with a protest sign and a legal observer; we’re only saying that you should come armed with facts and information about cannabis. Trust us—if you spark an intelligent discussion about weed, those who want to dumb it down will feel (or at least look) like the stubborn jackasses they are.
Suggest a smokeout before dinner
This one’s for the family that’s a little bit more… shall we say… with it. If half the people who will sit around your dinner table are already getting lifted on their own, then you might as well make it a group session. Our logic: There will be countless arguments this holiday season—between your moron pro-Trump cousin and your bleeding-heart sister, as well as, let’s face it, between that same bloodthirsty cousin and anyone else in your family with a sense of compassion. And while it’s completely understandable if you choose to avoid these people all together and sit at the kids’ table, if you must engage, we recommend a premeal spliff to dull the edge. Finally, if you’re thinking that the selfish flag-waving bigots in your family are automatically against cannabis, you may want to think again or at least ask them directly—with some luck, it could be a first step toward finding common ground.
Gift CBD to one and all
Sure, gift THC as well if you have someone in your life who likes the head rush, but CBD remedies are pretty ubiquitous, with options even on the counter at your corner store and gas station of late. Not all products are equal, and we recommend that you do research before trying to play doctor (in fact, you shouldn’t play doctor at all, but stick with us here). With a bit of knowledge or help from an expert, if you understand the ailment that the person you are gifting to is dealing with, you will be able to match them up with a CBD solution, be it topical or oral (or a combination of the two). If there’s nothing in particular that somebody is treating, there are also countless offerings—from sodas to gummies, sprays, and oils—that should universally appeal to anybody who can literally use a chill pill.
Don’t dose anybody’s food or drink
Let’s keep this one very simple so as to not confuse any morons out there—don’t put any cannabis (or anything else mind-altering, for that matter) in an unsuspecting person’s eggnog or yams. Got it!?! In fact, be sure to go out of your way to make sure nobody you know does stupid shit like that either. At the same time, if you want to have a hella dank Thanksgiving with your pals when there are no children around, then by all means stuff your turkey’s ass with hash and baste the bird with rosin. And don’t forget to send an invite to the Dig.