“We’re going to revolutionize the Christmas market.”

We have a pretty simple policy around here, and it goes like this: If you inform us that you launched a “Christmas tree startup,” we’re probably going to make fun of you, or at least request that you defend yourself. Alas, Robert Harrington of santatreesboston.com was up for the challenge.

Walk us through it real quick. Convince us that we should get a tree from you instead of scratching our car like we have always done in the past.

We handle the delivery, setup, and removal. Also a couple of 24-year-olds delivering trees in santa suits. Kinda funny, right? If neither of those work for you, maybe we wronged you in the past? Know that if you order a tree we are obligated to dress up like Santa and hand deliver it to your house.

Where are you getting these trees from? We’re not going to have detectives showing up at our houses asking questions, are we?

We went out with tree removal tools to the Boston Common a couple weeks ago, but couldn’t find any trees that fit our standard. Instead we decided to go the paid route and source them from farms in New Hampshire and Massachusetts.

This seems like a great idea, but what makes it a “startup”? I feel like five years ago the idea of a Christmas-tree startup would have been prime Saturday Night Live fodder. 

We are going to revolutionize the Christmas tree market. Why are Christmas trees limited to just December? There are 11 other months that people should have Christmas Trees in their house. A monthly subscription to Christmas trees is the perfect finishing touch to any house. We’ll chop down trees, drive them 100 miles, put them in your house, and set them up for you. Once they get too old, we’ll remove it from your house, drive 50 miles, and put it in a landfill. After that we’ll cut down another tree and put it in your house. It’s kinda like Blue Apron for Christmas Trees. Except we don’t use packaging so it’s a little more sustainable.

Is this strictly a Christian service? Anything in the works for Festivus poles or menorah lights? We feel like a Festivus pole startup might actually be a pretty profitable idea. We want in.

Festivus poles idea is absolute gold. Adding that as an option to the site right now. What’s your finder’s fee? How many poles can I put you down for? We’ll deliver just about anything. If you want menorah lights, ears of corn, a fig tree, or anything else you can think of—reach out on the contact us form and we’ll work something out.