So, the MFA did their detective thing tonight and opened and carefully exhumed all the treasure inside the time capsule filled and buried by Sam Adams and Paul Revere. While it was exciting and interesting, with valuable coins, old state seals, papers, and so on being pulled out, simply listening to the real-time reactions and comments by experts, it would have been easy to imagine you were overhearing a hot-mic discussion from the set of the most subdued gangbang porno ever.

Below, direct quotes in order of their utterance during the live unveiling, taken completely out of context for no other reason than the chuckles they provide to those with a dirty mind.

“It’s so tight.”

“It’s very small, I thought it would be larger.”

“Yes, it’s very small.”

“They look damaged by the acid.”

“I can’t tell if it’s an 8 or a 9.”

“The others may not have been washed quite as well.”

“It’s so nice [that] these aren’t stuck.”

“I’m counting 24?”

“BJ … what’s the count?”

“We’ve got some more boxes.”

“Well, that was exciting.”

“We’re running out of boxes.”

“That just does not want to fit.”

“Let’s put the seal in here.”

“That’s beneath us.”

“It’s loose though, which is really good.”

“Sorry, I got too excited.”

“I’ll hold it all night if you want me to, but I warn you, I may tire.”

“We get a sense of the original color of the box in there.”

“And now for Pam’s next trick.”