The thing to remember is this: You are drunk. I am not.
With winter right around the corner, I thought I, your friendly neighborhood bartender. would share three solid tips on how to get through the next four miserable months.
BAR HAVOC: OF BOOZE AND BARF
There are a handful of sounds that exist in the universe that only bartenders understand. Our ears are trained to pick these things up from just a few feet off to entire rooms away. Say, the tap-slap of a credit card being placed down after a meal, or the clunk-splash of a 16oz glass being knocked over and spilling. And, of course, the unmistakable sploosh-splat of vomit.
I’M NOT YOUR BAR MOM
There reaches a point when you should just stop, and go home while you’re ahead. Newsflash: That girl is not going to call you. She wants pizza.
As you, my little droogies, have often shown, sometimes ordering isn't as easy as you would think.