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TALKING JOINTS MEMO: FAD THE INHALER

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First of all, don’t leave this damn thing around small children. That should be a given—we’re talking about cannabis after all—but really, of all the gadgets and goodies I have reviewed in these pages, this may be the easiest for a kid to get super stoned with. Other than more or less any edible I guess.

 

In fact, there are a few semisuperlatives in play for the Fine-Mist Inhaler by Molecular Infusions. Most obvious of course being that it is the ironic cannabis delivery device that most resembles the medical unit that asthma patients use to catch their breath and stay alive. So while I shouldn’t have to say this, I might as well play it safe and note that this is not that thing. Rather, this is a convenient tool with which you can get zooted. The stock description:

 

The Cannabis Fine-Mist Inhaler is an easy-to-use product that discreetly delivers a measured, predictable dose every time without any smell, plume, or combustion. The Micronozzle Technology produces optimally-sized droplets that form a reliable and predictable soft mist, dose after dose. The Inhaler was developed to deliver each dose deeply into the lungs for maximum performance and effectiveness that provides a quick and efficient experience.

 

Now let’s do some mathematics. At 360mg THC total stretched over 150 doses, that makes each spray approximately 2.4mg. Compare that to your average gummy bear or square snap off of a chocolate bar, both of which are typically 10mg. Which means that if you are a savage cannabis consumer like yours truly, you probably won’t rely on a contraption like the Fine-Mist Inhaler to get you initially zipped, but rather you might pack one in your canna-quiver to keep your high on point through the day, sort of like the way an old school coke head might do fatty lines at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all the while popping Vivarin between powder meals.

 

But what does the cannabis inhaler taste like? What does it feel like? And most importantly, how does it make you feel? Well, from my experience, the flavor’s similar to one of those citrus miracle cleaners that salespeople at the mall use to clean up disgusting grease and then pour into a cup and tell you to drink. I don’t mean that in a bad way, that’s just what it reminds me of. As for the sensation, it really is a microscopic mist, and you can feel it seeping into all of that impressionable real estate in the back of your throat and under your tongue. Which is why this is a great idea, at least in my Humboldt opinion—in addition to being a pretty cool accessory to unsheathe at a bar, and that won’t likely get you ejected from a concert or sporting event, it also gets right to the point, and without the crackhead optics of a dab rig or even a bowl. And critically, the buzz is mellow but detectable, which is what a lot of casual consumers are looking for these days.

 

I do have some small, fixable criticisms. First, the directions on the inhaler are too hard to read, and they are pretty darn important. I was actually using it wrong in my first few attempts, as you are supposed to clear the air hole before turning the nozzle on your own orifice. My other beef is that mine began to form a gross orange residue in the lip piece after just two days; I guess it’s almost inevitable that things which get you stoned also get dirty, but in this case I am pretty sure they could correct the issue by investing in a couple of minor cosmetic adjustments—make the product black or red for starters, but perhaps also give it some additional weight so it feels more like a real asthma inhaler.

 

At $80, this toy from Molecular Infusions, which is available for recreational users at NETA in Brookline and Northampton, is certainly a novelty and luxury. But it will get you high discreetly and makes for an awesome party prop, and that has got to count for something.

CITIZEN STRAIN

CITIZEN STRAIN